ROSES (TeacherxStudent)

PART 3.2 Ch 23

Flemish

What did I expect anyway?

That he was over her and ready to move on? Why did I think it was going to be me of all people?

'Snap out of it bruh!' Max patted my shoulder.

'You're gonna drive into a tree in no time and check that off your bucket list.' Tiffany added.

'Speaking of bucket list, Mia what about your project?' Parker had his arm casually around her at the backseat.

'What project?' my fingers drilled into the steering wheel.

'This beauty pageant that has agreed to let its contestants wear my dresses,' Mia beamed.

'It's gonna be lit I tell ya,' Max turned his head from the passenger seat to give Mia a reassuring smile.

'I think we got everything last week, do you need anything else Mia, more fabric or needles or whatever,' Tiffany was checking her phone.

'Also remember I'm wearing one of your dresses to the fundraisers. Parker dont play games on your phone when we're there,'

'What are you guys talking about?' When did all of this happen?

'The Fundraiser,' Max chipped in

'I dont get it,'

'Well, yeah obviously,' Tiffany snapped.

'What's that supposed to mean?'

'It means you weren't there Summer,'

She couldn't be any more right.

'She means you havent been hanging out with us like you used to' Mia made sure there weren't any misunderstandings.

'Oh,'

'Maybe this is the start,' Max chimed in. I gripped on to the steering wheel harder.

'What start?' Tiffany didn't seem to realise the effect her words had on me.

'We all have different dreams and goals to fulfill. Neither of which involves having eachother,' Parkar spoke and silence followed.

It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed our minds. It was just that none of us had the heart to admit it out loud.

Parkar and Max must have talked about it without them. And me.

We drove on till Mia began describing how fantastic they thought her designs were and Tiffany was a proud mother hen. I could see rear mirror Parkar smiling seeing Mia so enthusiastic and Max seemed to look out the window commenting here and there. I was happy.

But was I? I used to be, maybe I still am. Happiness isnt exactly a constant state of joy. It's a mixture of all kinds and all ranges of emotions, tackling situations being thrown at you, falling down, getting back, up all of it. Happiness is a mindset.

Mia and Parkar had eachother. Max and Tiffany were siblings who are pursuing a career and that involved eachother. All of them, their plans so solid, so promising.

Where was I headed to? What did I want to do?

I've never felt so insecure and alone. I was surrounded by people I loved but at the same time I felt so left out. They had eachother, they had their own dreams, their own lives that did not involve me. In all honesty they were not making me feel that way, I made myself feel that way.

This is me, mad at them, because of my own reasons for not being there. This is me being unkind and selfish.

This is me, realising that no matter how close we think we are, just beacuse we don't hang all the time or as often, it means I'm a bad friend. It means we werent there for eachother, it means that we're not close. Am i the only who feels that it doesn't matter how frequently we see eachother to know that we're there for eacother?

I silented prayed that this time together would never truly end. At least not before i was prepared to let go of the one thing that was always constant in my life.

Looking back i realised how big of a mistake I had made.

Friendships, relationships, they all need effort. Nothing comes without effort and time. You can love, you can care but it can never be enough for a relationship.

Realtionships and friendships, they do not go on solely based on one's feelings. It goes on with more, oh so much more than that.

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