ROSES (TeacherxStudent)

PART 3.5 Ch 26

Summer's POV

Last night Mia was right, everyone had their own struggles.

But what do I do with myself? I have no future. My friends will leave soon. The man I'm possibly in love with does not want anything to do with me. And even if he did, the relationship would ruin us both, him more. 

I stared at the drawer which held the only picture of my mother. Maybe if she was here, things would not have turned out this way, maybe it would have been the same. Maybe she would be as shitty as my father and I would hate her twice as much or maybe she would love me enough to not go looking for love in a fucking teacher's lounge.

I grabbed my keys and headed out. I need some fresh air, the house was suffocating enough with my father home.

'Sit down,' it came from the living room.

'I'm going out right now,' I asserted.

'I am your father and you WILL listen to me. Right now I told you to sit down !' he raised his voice 

He's never been physically abusive with me, never even cussed but every time he raises his voice, I would look down and do everything I'm told. I never did anything that would get him even slightly mad at me. At least nothing he would know, no wonder I have been messing around with a teacher.

'I have been very sick,' he paused as if waiting for some reaction of shock or surprise from me. He's old; it would be weird if he were not sick. Besides, there was a letter from the hospital in the mail the other day, I can put two and two together.

'But you would know the difference in my health even though we live under the same roof,' he accused me, there was a lump in my throat. 

'I give you a home, a good quality education, I feed you and provide for you,' he continued, I held it in painfully.

'You ungrateful child, the least you can do is spend some time with me but you always hop into that stupid car of yours, I should have never bought it for you!' he roared. 

'I bought the car,' I whispered. The lump in throat started growing with anger and guilt, guilt for never being enough. He was not lying, I grew up wealthy. I was never hungry, never short of money, hardly had a curfew. Yet when I was given everything, I could not live up to being a good daughter.

'What did you say? Say it louder!'

'I bought the car,' I snapped, tears started to form. I focused on the tiles beneath my feet.

'So? I allowed you to have a car. You think you are superior just because you bought yourself one car? I raised you, even after your mother left with another man!' 

I looked up in disbelief. He laughed as it gave him some sort of satisfaction.

'Yes, your wonderful mother left me for some idiot even when I gave her everything she wanted. And now look at you! Going out when your father is sick even after I gave you a good life! Stand up,' I obeyed almost immediately. She left me for some random guy?

'Show some respect, how dare you sit while I am talking to you,' 

You told me to sit. I wanted to say but I knew he would have something to say in return, there was no point. 

 'I always try to make everyone around me happy,' he shook with anger or laughter I did not know, I had to look down after all.

'But all of you, every one of you have the audacity to leave me, especially now that I'm sick?' now my nails were digging into my palms.

'Just because you gave her things doesn't mean she-'

'SHUT UP! DON'T TALK BACK TO ME! I AM OLDER THAN YOU!' I flinched. I do not know why I was defending a cheating woman but if I had a chance to get away from him, I'd take it. 

'You cannot do anything without your father! You cannot be anything without me!' and he was right. I could not, I still cannot leave. I'm not dumb I need him to pay for my education otherwise I'll be living paycheck to paycheck.

'Her leaving doesn't excuse your behaviour!' I shouted quickly before he could cut me off.

Those words only seemed to make him madder. His eyes were redder, more awake.

It was not because he felt guilty, no.

It was because as his child I was to be less wise, less powering, less of everything so he could make my words invalid. That is the thing with adults. If words and intellectual fails they'll always use their age and years of experience to overpower you.

I turned and ran out.