Little One

|emotions|

We were all sitting down in a circle.

TH-It's not about me so I'm just gonna go.
YG-No! It's about all of you. So sit your ass down.

Taehyung sat down on the floor again holding Jungkook's hand tightly.

YG-So...someone cares to explain what is going on?
JK-Hyung I...
YG-Kook shut up. You lied enough. You want to make another excuse don't you?
JK-I'm sorry hyung...
YN-Yoongi leave them alone. They didn't do anything!
YG-Oh you finally said something! You should be the one explaining all of this to me!
YG-Exactly! So let them go and let's talk like adults. Only us.
YG-You can go. And us...let's go to your room.

~Yoongi's POV~

We walked inside of her room and I closed the door.

YG-So?
YN-Can you sit down first?

I did what she asked because I knew how nervous she gets whenever I'm standing and we have a serious talk.

YN-Yoongi...it's...much harder to explain all this than you think it is but I will try to tell you as much as possible. So please understand.

I knew it didn't mean anything good. But I was ready to take everything she was about to tell me.

YN-I...I have mental issues. I had them earlier too, actually that's why I left back then. I didn't know how to deal with it. I was sitting here for a year all alone not going out of the house during the day because I couldn't. I was scared. I was hiding it from Tae and Jungkook when they came here first, they found out after Tae followed me thinking I'm going to work, while I went to a psychologist. After a while I...fell in love with anything self destructive. When I became a model it was an escape. I was so busy and tired that I didn't have the time to think about being depressed. But when the haters showed up I started to become worse. Now, I am still trying to get better. And sometimes it scares me how much I think about going out for a walk and never coming back. How willing I am to leave everything I have and everyone I know. It's just...it's really hard because I haven't felt alright for a really long time.

That's...when even I broke down to tears. How could I not know anything? I...
I hugged her tightly and just let her cry on my chest. It was all I could do for her. I have so many things I want to say to her.

YN-I feel so selfish when I complain about being sad you know? Because so many people have way worse lives than I do, yet I can't stop focusing on how sad I am and how much I wish I wasn't still breathing. But the thing is...other people make me feel that way too...And I hate how even when I'm happy I am still sad and even when I'm having a good day, I still want to die and no matter what I do or what happens I'm still always just so fucking sad!
YG-Shh. I understand. I understand everything.
YN-I try! I try so hard but I just can't get better. And I'm terrified. I'm terrified that if I try my hardest I still won't get better. And I'm sorry. I really am, I wish things were different...
YG-It's okay. It's gonna get better, I promise you. We will all try to make it better.
YN-When will it get better?
YG-I don't know, no one does. What I know is that it may not be okay now but it will be eventually.

I hugged her even tighter and I could feel her skinny arms wrapping around my my body slowly. I don't want to ever let go of her, ever again. But I think it's good to be honest right now...

YG-Y/n can we be together again?
YN-It's...I'm not ready Yoongi...
YG-I understand. But can I take you on dates sometimes?
YN-Sounds nice.

I let go of her and we looked each other in the eyes. I wiped her tears away and stood up.

YG-Do you want to go now?
YN-No I...yeah I don't know.
YG-If you're not ready we don't have to.
YN-No, just...give me some time to get ready okay?
YG-Okay. Just wear something casual.

I left the room.
I shouldn't get excited, it's not like a lot will happen but still I hope to make her mine again.

I changed my clothes too and when I came out she was already sitting outside.

YG-Ready to go?
YN-Yeah. Where are we going tho?
YG-Amusement park?
YN-Yes!
YG-Let's go then.

I wanted to hold her hand but she pretended it's not held out to her so I put it back in my pocket. We just walked in silence. When we reached the amusement park she seemed happy.

YN-The last time I went was with you Yoongi.
YG-Really?
YN-Yes. I never really had time for things like that when I came here.
YG-You need to go on everything then.
YN-No, some of them are too high.
YG-I will be by your side all the time.

I looked her in the eyes and she smiled.
I knew she needs to have the time of her life now and was willing to do anything to give her that.

I didn't yet know how much "anything" will cost me...

I am so, so sorry. School is horrible and I really didn't have the time to write. I hope you like this chapter. I'm sorry for any mistakes and typos. Please like and comment~
Love you ❤

And in case no one told you today :
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL
YOU ARE ENOUGH
YOU ARE AMAZING