In A Relationship With Lay of Exo

e r s h i s i

ERRORS AHEAD

I am begging for comments. Tbh. They fuel me to write more so if I get less, I get lazy too. Kyungsoo's first chap got 243 comments overnight with such a boring and short chapter but Yixing's barely does. I am hoping you'll get to love Xu Yan, Yixing and Zian too. Thanks x

TWEET: #IARWLOE
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I HAD to excuse myself after that, ran my way to the bathroom and kept the sobs from escaping my lips by covering it with my hand. I sat inside the tub, my knees folded to my chest.

Can't I be Zian's mother? Why does he make me feel like he doesn't want me at all? I want to hug him so bad! I want to kiss him, I want him to call me Mama, I want to keep him next to me, I want to sing him to sleep!

I just want to be the mother he needs, the mother he loves.

Why am I a stranger to my own son?

I heard a knock on the bathroom door, I pressed my hand harder to my mouth because I'm afraid Yixing will hear me crying.

"Xu Yan?"

I shut my eyes hard, hoping my voice wouldn't break so much, "Hm?"

"Are you alright? Can I come in?"

"I'm okay!" I blurted out, I don't want him to see how miserable I am. How this situation hurts me. How it gets hard everytime I try. "I'll come out in a minute."

A minute that turned into a couple more. I rinsed my face with water, and it was disappointing to see my eyes red and swollen. Pressing my head on the wall, I try to breathe for some more.

Wàn shì kāi tòu nán, Xu Yan. You have to get there and win your son back, everything is going to be worth it. It's Zian anyway. So don't lose hope and be a stronger person, you're a mother now. You can't back down just because you want to. Jiayou! (All things are difficult before they are easy.)

I nibbled my bottom lip, exhaling, before I turned the knob and stepped outside the bathroom. I found them inside the room, Zian is playing with his toy cars on the bed while Yixing is putting clothes inside the closet. "You're staying here?" I whispered to him.

He turned his head to see me, flashing a reassuring smile, then pulled me to him, "It'll be okay, baby. He'll open up soon, I know you can do it. You're Xu Yan, remember?"

Right, I'm Xu Yan. I got Yixing before, I can get Zian too. I nodded my head, stealing a peck on his lips before I went to Zian who's still busy playin, "Baby, what do you want to eat?" I asked him, playing with his soft black hair. He probably got this from me but I'm not sure, Yixing has a good hair too.

Zian pursed his lips, "Chicken."

I beamed at him, "Fried chicken? Or do you like any chicken food?" If there are few things I'm very confident of, it'll be playing the piano and cooking.

This young man shook his head, a small smile was on his face but it really cause a big impact in my heart, "Just fried chicken."

"Alright, I'm going to cook fried chicken for you. Play with your Pa for a while, hmm?" I rose to my feet when Zian nodded and left the room after tapping Yixing's shoulder. He's still busy with their clothes.

Now that I have realized, I should probably search for a house. I can't stay in this hotel forever, and there's no way I will let Zian live here. I quickly took the frozen chicken from the freezer and defrosted it by boiling. Yixing must be playing with Zian because I can hear his giggles from the kitchen, they seem so close and I can't stop myself from being jealous for a tad bit.