Pitch Perfect: College love

Chapter 11

-Warning! This chapter contains talks about self-harm! If you are sensitive, please skip that part!

-Play the song when marked so.

He dumped me at the worst time of all, and I had enough of it. 

I just wanna be alone right now." I say, taking my crutches and leaving.

I'm able to walk down the staircase with these stupid crutches and walk away, the tears now starting to form in my eyes. I thought that if Chloe doesn't love me, that someone else could.

I was wrong after all. Now I don't have a place to go. The auditorium is in use by the Bellas, they are rehearsing non-stop for the semi-finals.

Going back to the dorm is also not an option, if Chloe sees me in tears when she's back, she'll ask me what happened. And my favorite spot just got ruined  by one guy.

If only I knew that he would do that. All guys are just pricks, I'm sticking to girls from now on. That's right, I'm a lesbian. First I was a bisexual, but I'm just done with boys.

I loved girls more anyways. I think about how my life's been so far, my father barely being there for me and my little brother because of his duties, but I understand that.

Now I don't even know if he's even there? My tears slip over my cheeks and onto the ground. My arms feel like jelly and I don't think I can walk any further. I sit down on the ground, then make my back connect with a short wall.

That's when I started crying. Nothing could stop my tears, they just kept streaming down my face.

"Nobody likes you. You're a loser. Stop singing, you suck." The horrible things they said back in high school came back to me.

I lift my shirt up lightly and look at the scars that ran over my body. They were on my back and stomach, on my arms and legs too. Some were small, some were big.

After half an hour, I wipe  the tears from my eyes with a few sobs. I took my crutches and start walking. I should've trusted my gut that it wasn't right.

It's too late now. Now I go back to the dorm and put some music. Mixing 'believe' from Hollywood undead and 'jar of hearts' from Christina Perri I try not to burst out into tears again.

I rap along with the last part of 'Believe', cause that's the part that is the most important to me. And because of my headset I couldn't hear Chloe come in.

I broke it all and I'm put to the test
Put your hands in mine and feel this emptiness
There's no beat in my chest
Cause there's nothing left
No it ain't goodbye it's a last caress
What's another dream you can hardly sleep
Can you believe bad things only happen to me
God know one day you will finally see
That scars will heal but were meant to bleed
Do you realise I would lie for you
Please have my last breath I would die for you
I know I'm no good but my heart beats true
You know I'm gonna fight though I might be scared to lose
You took me in and I fucked it up again
An empty promise no I won't pretend
Cause in the end we need someone to solve em
Nobody can fix me if I'm part of the problem

And then I let the music play again, my hands in my hair, tears in my eyes as I hold them back.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and as soon as I turn around, I see it's Chloe. She sees the tears in my eyes and pulls me into a hug. No restrain is possible, I begin crying again.

'Look, she's crying. What a cry baby.' That's what one of my bullies said to me when I fell onto the ground after he punched me in the stomach. But I can't help but cry.

Donald broke up with me, My father is lost in the most dangerous part of the war zone. No wonder I am crying.  She rubs my back soothingly.

She's all I ever wanted, but why do I still feel so bad about the fact that Donald dumped me? I was slightly shaking with every sob I cracked.