Adore [H.S.]

21

Sparks Fly - Taylor Swift  

ISABELLA 

There was something absolutely exciting about season changes. With each passing month came brand new change. It was a shedding of the old and embracement of the new. 

Autumn had passed by in a blur. Many of my days had been spent at the bookstore working and laughing with Harry. Over the past month, Harry had been more attentive to me. In our conversations at the bookstore, he'd look at me as if I was the only person left on this earth. His undivided attention on me sent my senses into overdrive. It didn't help the small crush that I knew I had on him. 

Harry and I have hung out more. I, being the selfish person that I was, never said no to his offer. Even when I knew that I shouldn't be spending so much alone time with him, I couldn't help it. Every moment that I spent with Harry was a moment that I'd never want to take back. He made me laugh, think and challenged me in ways that I didn't think were possible. Best of all, he helped me realize that I needed to make my life an adventure. That's why I was in London in the first place. To find myself. I had lost track of that.

Then there was Chase. We were still dating. Regardless of the growing and extremely inappropriate feelings that I had for Harry, I couldn't let Chase go. He loved me and as much as I tried to, I knew I didn't love him back. But he gave me a sense of security and home that I needed. He treated me with so much respect and made me feel worthy. Chase was great, I knew that, but he still didn't give me the sense of adventure that I knew I needed; an adventure that I wanted. He wasn't a risk, he wasn't a thrill and I couldn't help but wonder if I was settling by staying with him. 

However, as much as I knew I should end things with Chase, I couldn't. At least not right now. Did that make me a terrible person? Did it make me a terrible person who stays with her boyfriend even though she know's in her heart he isn't the one. I knew that the answer was probably yes but like I said before, I'm a selfish person. A selfish and rather stubborn girl who doesn't want to be alone. 

It's funny. I say that I want to take more risks in my life but I flake at the biggest risk of all. The biggest risk that I could make would be to leave Chase for Harry. The probability of Harry liking me back was slim. But with big risks came even bigger possibilities for hurt. All I needed was some form of confirmation that maybe, just maybe, Harry felt the same way. 

November was coming to an end. London was cold. It was rainy and I needed to buy a new pair of boots. I looked down at the rain boots that were trying to keep my feet dry and cringed at the small holes on the side. My once white socks were now a soaked brown. This is disgusting.  I made a mental note to stop by the shops to look for a new pair of boots. There were only a few more days left of November, which meant that December was on it's way. Which in turn meant that I would be going home soon. 

The feeling that erupted inside of me was indescribable. I couldn't wait to see my sister and Ty. Sure, I  missed my parents, but I wasn't as excited to see them. I knew that they would be hounding me to move back home the moment I step off the plane. Even more so when I tell them that all I've been doing for the past six months have been working at a bookstore and dating a boy. Except that they love Chase. My subconscious reminded me. Damn Natalia for telling them all about him. I purchased my ticket today leaving only one more week until I left. 

"Okay! We need to plan the Christmas party." Jaz in formed me as she scrambled around our living room, searching high and low for god knows what. "I was thinking drinks, friends, Christmas music, and mistletoe. Lots and lots of mistletoe!" She winked. Suddenly she let out a loud squeal, her eyes darting around the room in excitement. 

"Don't you think it's a little early to be planning a Christmas party?" I looked at her amused by her excitement. 

Jaz stopped whatever she was doing and abruptly turned around. Her eyes were wide and her mouth slightly agape. "Izzy. You're leaving in one week. December is in two days. I am not having my Christmas party without my favourite roommate! That will just not do." Her hands found their way to her hips. She shook her head at me, blonde curls falling over her face.