the note (JAEGAN)

chapter 4

i low key have 10 chapters written 💀

Rae

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i start to rub him right there and he starts getting scared and shaking. i take my hand away and look at him. "i-is this alright?" i ask.

"y-you have a girlfriend beast..and i've-you know i've never done this with another person..." he looks away as he speaks as if he wants to but is scared.

"we- we don't have to." i say and grab his hands.

"i-i want to...i really do but not right now.." he whispers.

"oh-okay. you want me to drive?"

"yeah.." he gets off of me so i can get in the drivers seat.

i get over there and i start the car again. i start driving and we get to school.

school fam

we get out and i lock his car as we start walking towards the school. i wonder if he's all right.

i walk closer to him and grab his hand. we always hold hands and no one really says anything because everyone knows how close we are. my girlfriend gets a little bit jealous but she doesn't mind it much.

we walk into the school, hand in hand.

Time skip to lunch because school is
b o r i n g

we walk in the lunch room and walk over to our normal group. me, Justin, Aryn, Kenna, kale, Ryan, Chloe, and jack.

i sit down next to Chloe and expect justin to sit with us but he sits by ryan. i look at him and give him a questioning expression. he just shrugs. he's been quiet all day since that thing with us happened. i still have no idea why it happened. maybe i was just horny?¿ i can't have feelings for my best friend. he's like my brother..

but your not supposed to wanna fuck your brother...(stolen from jaeganblakelove )

"babe?" i'm broken from my thought as i look at Chloe. "what's wrong?" she asks.

"nothing." i smile a very fake smile.

she nods and puts her head on my shoulder. i pull my phone out and shoot jay a message.

me: hey..
Jay: hi.
me: do u wanna talk about what happened?
Jay: in the car?
me: yes.
Jay: well not rlly
me: y?
Jay: not feeling it.
me: can i just ask u smthng?
Jay: sure
me: do u have feelings 4 me?
Jay: i mean..
me: pls just tell me
Jay: not rlly..srry. i got caught up in the moment
me: o

i close out of our messages and turn my phone off. i put my head down and just sit there. i haven't been this upset since kindergarten.

(memory)
"shut up little girl!" the boy yells as he pushes me down on the ground.

"hey get out of here!" i hear another girl yell.

"hey what's your name?" i look at this kid standing in front of me, extending her hand. i take it and stand up.

"raegan. what's yours?" i ask as i look into her eyes. she doesnt seem happy.

"justin."

"isn't that a boy name?"

"i am a boy."

"but you look like a girl." i say and get confused.