the note (JAEGAN)

chapter 38

Justin

-

i'm so fucking bored.

i look over to raegan and poke his cheek. he looks at me and kisses mine. i scrunch up my nose and he kisses it. i smile and wrap my arms around him. he kisses my neck and holds me. i sigh into the crook of his neck. i'm not happy right now. but i'm also not sad. just like, neutral. and it's such a weird feeling.

UHHH TRIGGER WARNING???? ⚠️

it's like you're in the middle of life and death. like your body is here but your mind and soul isn't. we pull away and i stand up, walking into the bathroom.

"i'll be back." i say.

i close the bathroom door and sit on the floor. i roll up my sleeves and look at the very very new scars. they just scarred over and it's like a darkish color. not the milky color of old scars you know? i rub my thumb over them and slowly start to remember the feeling of the cold blade digging into my skin, ripping the flesh in two. the blood dripping from the open gashes in my arm, the feeling of being dizzy, starting to pass out. my heart starts racing as my eyes widen.

i stand up quickly and open the door running to raegan, crying.

"woah baby? what happened?" he asks and grabs my arm instinctively to check for cuts. i shake my head.

"i *stiff* was thinking too much and *sniff* i thought about when i tried to kill myself and slicing my arms and it got to much and my heart started racing and i knew if i didn't come out here i might do something bad-"

he cuts me off, "babe. calm down. you didn't do anything. you're good." he grabs my face and i stare into his eyes, calming down slowly

"i love you." i say to him.

"i love you too." he says and brings me into another hug.

"i'm so sorry." i tell him.

"it's okay. i'm just so fucking glad you didn't do anything."

••

Raegan

-

all of us are in jays basement just hanging out. justin is still upset from earlier and so he's being quiet.

"i. am. not. gay! holy shit." kale states.

"but you are." Mia says giggling.

"no i'm fucking not. i have a girlfriend!" he yells.

"ok damn." she looks at him and tries not to laugh. i start laughing my ass off.

"ohhhhh my goddddd." he groans and falls to the ground. kenna isn't here. she's with her parents at a lunch, telling them about the pregnancy.

"i think your gay." Elliot says and points at him.

"i swear if one more fucking person calls me gay-"

"gay!" justin yells and points at him too.

kale picks up a pillow and throws it at him.

"he speaks!" jack yells.

"yes. tis i, the frenchiest of fries."

i giggle.

DUDE WHAT THE HELL I HAVE NO INSPIRATION FOR THIS DAMN BOOK

my phone buzzes and i pull it out of my pocket. it's a message from chloe.

RagingBitch🙄: babe :( i want your big hard dick in my mouth. :((
Me: bitch i have a boyfriend for that.
RagingBitch🙄: yeah but i could do it better.
Me: uh no. lmao. his mouth is so much better than yours. please fuck off.

i feel justin's hand in my shirt, rubbing my abs. i look down at him and he's smiling.

"do i really?" he asks really quietly.

"yes. by a lot." i giggle.

everyone else is having their own conversations and justin gets a blanket to put over us. he unbuttons my pants and unzips them. he reaches his semi cold hand into my boxer briefs and starts slowly rubbing me. i start getting hard and he takes his hand out, spitting on it.

he puts it back in and starts jacking me off slowly. i bite my lip and he goes a bit faster.

after a few seconds, i cum in his hand. he takes his hand out and licks it clean. i put my dick back in my pants and button and zip them. kale looks at us and we are in the same position we were in before + the blanket. he shrugs and we start talking about random shit.

a few hours later.

everyone decides to stay here and we all sleep in the basement. it's actually pretty nice down here. there's a tv, a heater, an air conditioner, sofas, pillows and blankets.

everyone is asleep except me and jay and there's a movie on. it's very very loud. justin and i move ourselves to a corner away from everyone else and he takes my pants off along with his. i smirk as he straddles my lap. i can feel myself frowning harder every time he grinds his hips against mine. i moan quietly into the nape of his neck.

he takes my dick out of my boxers and he just takes his off. he slowly lowers himself onto my shaft. i instantly feel the pleasure and i arch my back. he's very tight.

"ow.." he says.

"it's okay baby. it'll get better. i got you."

i slowly start moving him up and down on me and he slowly starts feeling less tense. he moans as i start rubbing his clit and he grabs my shoulder. i feel myself twitch inside of him and i know it close. soon enough, i release inside of him. and after i feel a warm substance going down his inner thigh. he rides out his high and rolls off of me, breathing heavily.

i put my clothes back on and so does he. we get up and walk back over to everyone else, going to sleep too.

dude 😂

i watched the porn the other day and it was literally an hour long. like bitch nooooo. no one has the time.

anyways here's your update y'all wanted. :))