the note (JAEGAN)

chapter 10

Beasty

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"is it true that you're jealous?" justin asks. i wrap my arms around his waist and look at tyler.

"uh.." tyler stutters. i chuckle.

"yes. i'm jealous because i've liked you for a long time and you're just fucking raegan not even giving me a chance!" tyler shouts.

"woah woah woah! i'm not fucking him!" justin yells back. i look at him confused and take my arms off him.

"and for a matter of fact, i have given you a chance. and i'll sure as hell give you another!" he adds. what in fuck?

"oh." tyler gets quiet.

i cough and push Justin off of me. i stand up and start walking to the stairs. "i'm going home...find another ride because you won't see me again." i say and walk up the stairs.

i get to the front door and open it. i walk out and go to my car. i open the car door and get in. i don't bother putting my seat belt on. i start my car and pull out.

TRIGGER WARNING

i go back to justin's and park my car, turning it off. i get out and lock it. i go inside justin's and go upstairs i grab my backpack and unzip it. i reach in and grab the box of blades. i put my backpack down and walk into the main bathroom. i sit on the toilet after putting the seat down.

i open the box as i hear the front door open but not close and footsteps running up the stairs. i put the blade to my skin and swipe it across. i see the blood trickle down my arm and soak into my clothes.

i do that three more times until i finally realize i'm
being stupid. i hear the bathroom door open as i take the blade away and put it down, tears streaming down my red face.

"i'm sorry. i-i don't know what happened! i freaked out!" i yell.

"hey hey!" i hear as arms are wrapped around me. the blood it still coming from the gashes on my arms and justin pulls away from me and makes me stand up, bringing me over to the sink. he turns it on and puts my arm under it. he grabs a rag and puts it over the cuts. i look over at the doorway and see kale standing there. i mouth 'i'm sorry' to him and he nods.

justin cleans me up and puts gauze over the cuts and wraps an ace bandage around it. i thank him and walk over to kale. i wrap my arms around him and embrace him.

"i'm so sorry." i whisper. he's been my friend since 1st grade. right after justin.

"i accept your apology but you're not forgiven." he says back. i nod and pull away.

yikes. later

"i'm so sorry." i feel tears going down my face. Justin turns around and looks at me. he puts his hands on my face and wipes my tears while shaking his head.

"i already forgave you, you asshole." he says back.

i hug him. "no i mean i'm sorry that i have feelings for you.." i whisper.

he sighs. "fuck!" he pulls away from me and turns back to the grilled cheese he's burning. i laugh and stop crying. i sit at the island that's in the kitchen. he gives me the grilled cheese and sit next to me with his burnt one. we eat and go back into the living room.

he turns on 13 Reasons Why again. at least he's on the second season now. i laugh to myself as he sits down. "what?" he asks.

"i'm just glad you're finally on the second season." i tell him. he nods and leans on me. i wrap my arms around him and we cuddle.

a LOT of hours pass and we finally finish the second season. even though i've watched it before. it still makes my cry. he turns his body around and wraps his arms around my torso and cries into my chest. i cry with him until i hear a knock on the door. i get up and wipe my tears. i open the door and see tyler standing there. i roll my eyes and slam the door.

"who was it?"

"tyler." i roll my eyes again.

he hops up and runs to the door, opening it. "tyler come back!" he yells. i see tyler come back to the door and justin hug him "come in."

i roll my eyes and walk upstairs. "where are you going?" justin yells.

"upstairs. have fun with tYLeR." i tell him.

i open his door and walk in. i close it and lay on his bed.

a few hours pass when i hear tyler shriek. i get up and take my sweet ass time walking down stairs.

"what the hell-" i see tyler on top of Justin kissing his neck. "alright bet." i walk back up stairs. after a few minutes i hear the front door close and footsteps coming upstairs. i turn my phone off and act like i'm asleep. i hear the door open and close. i see the light being turned off and feel the bed shift.

"beasty i'm sorry." i hear. "he's my boyfriend."

oh what in fuck. i sit up and look at him.

"are you fucking kidding me?!" i yell. he tenses up.

"n-no.." he stutters. i scoff and get up. i grab my phone and go downstairs and into the guest bedroom. i lay down and cry myself to sleep.

just another thing to add to the list i guess...

sigh 😔