Children of the Boss

Chapter 43: Carmen

May 6th

I had my final session with Cheryl, my therapist. I sat in her office, which seemed more full of life than the first time I visited. Everything seemed a little less gray, and the sun was shining through the window, spreading over the room.

"So things are good," she said.

"Yeah, they really are," I said. "I'm excited to graduate. I will really miss my family, but luckily I have the means to visit a lot. Things seem to be going well."

"And what about you and Kenneth?"

I blushed. "Well...I feel like more people know that he and I...have feelings for each other. Right now, I think we're just sort of doing whatever we feel like, because when we go to college we'll move on and it won't matter."

"That's good, but you should remember that when you and him return for breaks, you'll be together again."

I nodded. "Yeah...I'm just hoping we can move on and when we see each other again it won't matter. We won't...do anything."

She nodded. "I'm sure you'll be fine."

Kenneth picked me up from my session. I hugged Cheryl goodbye, telling her I would keep in touch. I was grateful.

"How did it go?" he asked.

"It went well, but I'm glad to be done," I said.

"What kind of resources do they have in Brazil?"

I shrugged. "I'll figure it out if I have to."

We were going to take a walk on a trail a few miles out of town. We didn't have school that day because it was a snow makeup day. When Kenneth didn't say anything I looked over at him. He was tearing up. "What's wrong?" I asked.

He shook his head, giving a small chuckle. "I'll just miss you is all," he said.

"Kenneth, don't think about it," I said. 

He wiped his cheek. "It's hard not to."

"When we start school time will fly by and pretty soon I'll be transferring to NYU or Columbia. We'll still see each other."

"It'll just be really different. That's hard."

I held my hand out for him to take. He grabbed it, keeping his other hand on the wheel. 

Our graduation was  May 31st. The next day was our graduation party in the afternoon, and then that evening was Eve's graduation because she was graduation a year early. Her graduation party would be the next day. The day after that, Kenneth and I were going to fly out to Brazil. We would have about three weeks together, and then the final week the rest were coming to send me off.

I was excited to spend time with Kenneth in Brazil. It's what we needed, time to get away and enjoy the place we had our first kiss. But we had to get through our last month of school.

I know people always said high school would be forgotten, and I'm sure it would be for me, but I did actually enjoy high school. It could suck, and I know for some people it was worse, but I was nice to people and so they were nice to me. I liked going to class and learning and working. I loved being in the marching band and all the other clubs I was in. I was a nerd. 

"It'll be good for us. We'll call each other all the time, still see each other every now and then," I said.

"I know. I've gotten used to you sleeping in my bed though. I'll miss just having you there next to me," he said.

"I'll miss you too."

We drove the rest of the way to the trail and then started walking. I wanted to hold his hand, but I was afraid. There really wasn't anyone around, not on a Monday afternoon, but I was still paranoid. Sometimes, I still got scared of other people knowing. Clara, Lorena, Madison, Riley, Alex, and Eve all knew. Presumably Gloria and Cassidy knew too. Who else knew? What if they told? 

We walked along the trail. I tried not to think about it, but the thoughts of what the media would say if the whole world found out couldn't leave my mind. What if we shared one single kiss right here and someone took a photo and then shared it? A lot of times, richer families have weird things going on behind their walls. I didn't want to be that family, but here we were. At least Kenneth and I weren't related by blood, but still. All I could think about was how people would talk about my parents.

"Kenneth," I said quietly. "What are we going to do with our lives?"

He took a few seconds. "We shouldn't talk about this right now," he said.

"I think we should."

"Well...like Clara said, let's just wait it out."

"I don't know if I can. I just don't want to ever be in a position where we don't talk again." I looked up at him as he was looking down. "If you find a girl in the future or whatever then I don't want to not talk to you. Same with if I ever get in a relationship. I don't know if I will and it's not like I want anything serious any time soon."

"I don't want a relationship either," he said. "Maybe we shouldn't look at this like it's a bad thing."

"What do you mean?"

"We'll never have to choose a career over each other, or each other over a career. Like, I don't feel lonely. I'll miss you when you're gone but I know I'll always have the chance to still see you. How often does our family get together? We basically have a free ride to focus on our careers and our dreams but still have each other."

"Well...yeah. I guess you're right."

"We don't have to worry about anyone else," he said. "Just keep it between us, and focus on our dreams."

Kenneth was going to school for musical education. He decided he wanted to be a teacher and composer. He loved band and wanted to spread music everywhere. He was going to teach at a high school but work his way to be a college professor. I just wanted to write stories and graphic novels, but also work as a marketing manager somewhere. It was hard to figure out exactly what I wanted. 

"What if we fall out of love with each other?" I asked. "People do all the time."

"True, but it feels different for us. We just have to promise not to hurt each other and that whatever happens, we'll always be there for one another."

I nodded, but I felt sick to my stomach.

"Isn't it crazy that we still have so much time in our lives left?" Kenneth asked. "Like, yeah we could always die young but you shouldn't think about that. Like the average person lives into their eighties right? Somewhere around there? We're only eighteen. Eighteen out of roughly eight years. It's just crazy to think about what we're going to do with the rest of our lives. I mean, so many people have their careers and families established by the time they're thirty-five. That's not even half of the average life expectancy. I mean, I honestly can't imagine where I'll be when I'm forty. You know?"

"I know," I said. "Like...I feel like the career part is a given, but it's hard to imagine what we'll go through and what we'll know at that age."

"Exactly. I mean, when Dad and Pop were our age, they didn't know they would be doing this with their lives. It's unimaginable."

"It's kind of freaky to think about."

"It is, but the one thing I'm certain of," he said, smiling at me. "Is that you will always be there next to me no matter what happens."

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I apologize about the delay in update and that this one is not as long as others. My semester is over so I want to write more for this!