Children of the Boss

Chapter 44: Eve

May 6th

Gloria took her last final yesterday, and texted me that she wanted to come over when I got out of school. My own classes were almost done as well. I was graduating June 1st, and then starting classes at Columbia June 20th. I was looking forward to just finishing the school year and moving on. I didn't want to get arrogant, but I was only seventeen and attending university in just a few weeks. I couldn't wait.

"You look nice," Gloria said, when she entered my room.

"Thank you," I said, smoothing my pale pink silk dress. "Is something wrong?" 

She looked sad, or worried. "I have good news. I got accepted into a competitive study abroad program."

"That's great! Where is it?"

"It's in Paris. I'm so excited, and like it's a co-op so I'll be getting real experience and paid too."

"That's so great, I'm really proud. When is it?"

Her smile faded. "It starts in late July and goes until next June."

My smile faded too. "It's a whole year? Why did you tell me you were applying for this?"

"I told you I was applying to multiple programs, I just didn't elaborate."

I took a deep breath and just looked at her. She was bringing this up, she was going to finish it. 

"Well what do you want me to say, Eve?" she asked, and I felt bad when I saw the despair in her eyes. I knew what she wanted to say, but that didn't mean it would be easy on her.

"Just spit it out," I said. I was angry. I knew where it was going. She was hurting too, but I was telling myself she didn't care. I was just a fling.

"We have to break up," she said.

"Fine then. Get out."

"Eve, please. I don't want to break up, but I'm going to be gone for a year. And we're so young. It's just a...right person, wrong time kind of thing."

"Is it though? Or were you just using me to have fun and tell everyone you 'experimented' with girls before."

Her eyes were glistening. "How could you say that? You know I love you. But you're going to be so busy, you're always busy. Sometimes even when I'm in the same room as you I feel like I'm miles away."

"You're the one that's closed off," I said.

"Because I shut down when we fight but I don't want to shut down now because I don't want to leave here with you hating me."

"Too late. Like I said, get out."

"Eve! Why are you so mean?" She was getting angry, slapping the back of her hand with every syllable. "You're the one who gets nasty when we fight."

"Because you never show any emotion when we fight and it proves you don't care. You're stone cold because you don't care. You don't care about me and you never have.'

"That's not true! I do care about you and I love you. I just can't be in Paris, busy trying my hardest at what I love, when you're going to be here constantly working. I mean, why are you taking summer classes already? You should be enjoying your last summer!"

"I know what I'm doing. Now get out."

She pulled on her lips, something she did when she was mad. She stood up and started grabbing stuff that was hers, like her makeup and her schoolwork. Then she went to my desk and started grabbing the small things she gave me, like the notes and pictures and tickets. She was yanking them off my bulletin board, which was making everything else fall off, and was making a mess. I stood up when she grabbed the book she gave me, and grabbed it, but she wouldn't let it go. So we were both pulling on a book, but she was stronger. She started ripping the pages out and throwing them. I grabbed the book quickly and then threw it right back at her, so the cover hit her in the arm. We were both crying, but she stormed out.

I fell to the floor and started sobbing. 

I loved Gloria. I loved her so much. She was my person. 

I didn't know what it was like to have your heart broken, not until then. We had been together not even for a year, but it felt like the past few months were a waste. I wanted her as long as possible, and those months with her were gone. The future with her was gone.

"Eve?"

I looked up and saw Dean standing in the doorway. "Go away," I said.

But he entered and he sat next to me. "I saw Gloria run out of here. What happened?" he asked quietly.

"She broke up with me," I said, crying still. 

Dean knew me well enough to know I didn't want to talk about it, not yet at least. I just had to cry it out. He also knew me well enough to know that I didn't want to be touched, so he just sat next to me.

"She said I was the right person, just the wrong time," I said, when I stopped crying.

"That's always just an excuse," he said. "There's no way of knowing that's actually true."

"Relationships are stupid."

"They really are," he said, and I knew he was thinking about the older woman he had just gotten dumped by. "Just love yourself so much that nobody else has to."

"Easier said than done."

"Nonsense. You love yourself."

"Right," but I realized I didn't love myself. 

I actually hated myself. 

I hated who I was. Gloria was right. I was mean. I was cold. I didn't have an appealing personality. Pop was quiet, but he wasn't cold. Dad was charming, magnetic. Dean may have been arrogant, but there was still a reason why people liked him. Kenneth was quiet too, but he was nice, relaxed. Carmen was so kind and approachable. Gabriel was magnetic too, and bubbly. Dean was the only one who really ever got publicity out of us kids, but I was the one who got the least. I was graduating a year early but there wasn't anything in the media about it. Kenneth and Carmen had an article about what they were doing after graduation. Gabriel had a small following online because a lot of gay and non-binary people followed him. 

It didn't matter what I accomplished. Nobody would care if I wasn't nice. Nobody would care if I wasn't approachable.

"Thanks Dean," I said. 

"No problem."

"How are you doing?" 

He shrugged. "I don't know. I think I failed a final, but whatever."

"You'll be fine."

"You will too, Eve. You'll be fine too."