Devotion (John Seed)

20. Coffee?

John led Amelia back to the car and they climbed into their seats, before John drove them away from the church. The drive back to the ranch was a little awkward and tense. John was waiting for Amelia to explode, shouting at him for dragging her to church and saying what he said to Joseph. While Amelia was actually lost in thought, once she pushed her anger and frustration aside she thought a little about John's behaviour.

At the time she had thought nothing of if, she just thought that he was being controlling and an asshole, when he had said 'do not make a fool of me'. Now she has had time to calm down and actually think about his words she realised that he was...worried, maybe even scared. He wasn't angry at her for disobeying his orders, he was angry at her for doing it in front of his brothers and followers. She had disobeyed him in front of the people who respect and fear him the most, even though she was annoyed about everything she could understand his frustration.

Amelia glanced at the man in the driver's seat and could see that he was thinking about something, his knuckles were turning white as he gripped the steering wheel. The drive was silent and neither of them spoke as they climbed out of the car and walked into the ranch. John went straight to his office and Amelia threw herself down on the sofa.

Even though John told himself that he was trying to get some work done, he knew that he was lying to himself. He kept glancing up at the door, waiting for Amelia to barge in and shout at him or tell him that she was leaving. But she never did, and that was even more frustrating to John.

He threw his pen onto his desk and lent back in his chair, placing his hands over his face. He rubbed his eyes before dragging his hands down his face, letting his hands fall into his lap as he stared at the door opposite him as if he was tying to will Amelia to walk through the door.

Amelia remained in the lounge, sitting on the sofa, tapping her fingers on the arm rest. Should she go and talk to John? Would he just shout at her for disobeying him? She sighed and ran a hand through her hair before standing up. She walked into the kitchen and looked through the cabinets for something to drink, to her surprise she could find any alcohol other than an expensive bottle of champagne. She shook her head at the bottle before closing the cabinet door, the most expensive drink she has ever seen isn't suitable for the occasion. Instead she just made two cups of coffee before walking towards John's office.

She placed on cup on the floor as she opened the office door before picking the cup back up and walking into the room. John was already at his desk, leaning back in his chair and staring at her. She didn't notice the flash of excitement in his eyes as he heard the door click open. Amelia kicked the door closed behind her before walking over to the desk, she placed one cup of coffee on the desk in front of John and kept the other in her hands as she sat in the chair opposite him.

"You looked like you could use a drink but I couldn't find anything...so...coffee" she shrugged, staring into her drink and refusing to look up and meet his gaze.

"I don't drink" John muttered as he picked the cup of coffee up. Amelia was actually surprised, she always saw him as someone who would end his evening with a glass of wine or some sort of expensive liquor.

"Then why do you have a bottle of champagne?" She asked quietly, taking a sip from her drink and looking up at him. There was still some awkwardness and tension in the air.

"It was a gift, saving it for a special occasion" he shrugged and sipped from his own drink.

"Who was it from?" She asked, pushing her luck by asking him questions.

"Not important" John shook his head.

"Right, I forgot that this is a one way thing" Amelia scoffed as she rolled her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, placing his cup down and raising an eyebrow at her.

"I practically told you my lift story and you can't even tell me who gave you a bottle of champagne" she shook her head and John knew that she was right, but he didn't want to open up to her...did he?

"Fine, you're right. It wasn't a gift, I got it for myself. After my foster parents died I inherited their wealth, decided to treat myself with their money" he told her honestly.

"John...I'm sorry" she apologised. She didn't know how to respond, she didn't expected him to tell her that his parents died.

"Don't be, it was a celebratory purchase, they were awful people" John shrugged as if it was nothing but Amelia didn't know what to say, she wanted to know more but knew not to push him any further.

"Why-why didn't you drink it then?" She asked quietly, looking down at her drink.

"...I celebrated in a different way" John confessed but Amelia heard his hesitation and knew that he wasn't telling her something, like he was ashamed of something.

Amelia nodded and they both fell into a silence. They both remained silent for a few minutes until John finally snapped. "Can you just shout at me already? This is worse" he groaned.

"I'm not going to shout at you John" Amelia sighed and placed her cup down on the desk.

"Why? You were furious earlier, I shouted at you and disrespected you. Just get it over with" John growled, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I'm not mad anymore John. You were trying to impress your brothers, I get it, I really do. You managed to capture me, make me confess, you won. You were showing off, I used to do the same thing" Amelia shrugged as she stood up and walked towards the office door. She opened the door and stood in the door way. "I don't know what you think is going on between us. Whether this is just business and you are messing with me to get me to do what you want, if you are just trying to prove yourself to your brothers, if you care about me in the slightest...but it doesn't matter. If this is just about the cult, about your brothers...then I am going to help people again. I will be out of your hair tomorrow, I won't wake you up when I leave" Amelia smiled emotionlessly at him before leaving he office and closing the door.

John watched her leave blankly, he knew that he had messed up. He wanted her to be angry, to shout at him so that they can argue and eventually things would sort themselves out. But she wasn't mad, she just gave up. She believed that everything that had happened before today was fake, just John using her, which wasn't true. As much as he hates to admit it, John found himself caring for Amelia and he wasn't going to let her leave...even if it meant telling her the truth, telling her everything.