Everyone Breaks 3

8. In the Open

****************************************************************************************
A/N

🇺🇸🎇✨🎆Happy independence day aka 4th of July y'all 🎆✨🎇🇺🇸 I hope you enjoy this update. It's been a pretty busy week, but it's all good. 👏🏽👏🏽

Zoe has been waiting & anticipating certain things & now she might just find out what she's waited for.

I hope everyone has a great rest of the week. Be careful with fireworks & dont hold sparklers too long, lol. Ok bye for now 😜😇😊

****************************************************************************************

"Zoe. I don't hate you. You don't know what you do to me...

It's not your fault that I like hurting you...

If you embrace the fact that I'm turned on by your bruises, brokenness & fear that I could hurt you anytime...

I can be your dream guy, the rest of the time.

Just submit...it's going to happen anyway..."

These words swirled around in my head precisely, as though I were listening to them on a voice recorder.

They were the words Pav told me, as I layed next to him in his bed last year. I have no idea why they popped in my head at 4 o'clock in the morning. I dreamed about Pav, before waking to these thoughts. The loud speaker in my mind, decided it was time to torture me in my time of peace & tranquility.

3 weeks. 3 peaceful non bruised weeks, since Pav was shot. 2 weeks since they put that boy in a coma to save him. Sometimes I find myself thinking about him with pity. Those moments only seem to stay a little while, before they're replaced with ones of relief & gratitude that he's still under.

Mila has been in Colorado for a few days now. She likes to hang out with me & the girls, when she's not at the hospital. She told me they were all hoping Pav would wake up yesterday as planned. Something about time ticking bafore it's likely he'll never statistically wake-up.

To be completely honest, I never imagined he would wake up anyway. Most of the time, I've already considered him gone. But even though I never grant my mouth or mine the permission to say dead, that may be a possibility.

I want to know who the father of my children is, now. If it's Pav, I dont know how I would feel.

"Just submit...its going to happen anyway"?

He said those words to me as though he knew the future. They broke me from the woman I was. I refuse to say completely, but I definitely cant say I'm the same strong willed woman

This week, I've stayed away from Dana. I didn't feel like talking to her, after the news Mila gave me. I just wanted to enjoy this week without pain, deception, sadness & lies. So I stayed to myself, other then Mila pushing herself into my life. She asked me about things like music I listen to to the best trip I've ever had. We just talk like normal people. None of her conversations with me, were prying into things that could blow back at me, so I felt fine with our talks.

If she weren't related to the guys, & I'd met here somewhere other then this life, I think we possibly could've been friends. And I would have to go through the trouble of being careful with everything I say.

I also decided on what I was going to tell Dana, if she's a snitcher, like I've so kindly been told, then she's been lacking on updates all week to take back to the guys. I've been wondering if Warren knew about her true reason of being here or not.