Everyone Breaks 3

46. The Cold Truth

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**Zoe's POV**

I was tired and I just wanted to sleep for the rest of the day. I didn't feel like dealing with the head guy of the house at all since just an hour ago he had me watch the two women getting their punishments.

I didn't want to see his face or the girls faces either. I mean I knew it wasn't my fault, but part of me felt like it was. I believe he knew that would happen. "See Zoe, we all make choices, this was yours. Do you feel like you made a better choice then the Holtzer guys would have? I think if they had to choose between punishing you or having one of the other girls punished instead, they would punish them. I also think you're more like them then you think" he said to me as they walked the girls away somewhere. Probably their rooms so they could recover.

I'm not like the guys at all, but when he said that, it refreshed my memory with that same thought I had as they were punishing the girls. I didn't feel like myself. I felt like little parts of me were dwindling away from a mostly forced decision. At this point, I didn't even want to see my family or friends...

Wait what am I talking about. What friends? What family. I'm on my own unless I want to cause more trouble. I don't have friends anymore. They didn't miss me. I saw the videos. Everyone is just fine without me around. Maybe when I went back to the guys, things would be better. I'd follow the rules, suck it up and not keep anything from them. Maybe one day some kind of karma will catch up to them.

There are so many strong women in this world that could've held the fight until the end, but I'm tired. I'm not one of those strong women like I thought I was. Do I really want to come back to this place of mind games and deep truths. The guys will be happy they've finally won. They've taken everything from me and given me only what they wanted me to have in return. They control my life and there's really nothing I can do about it.

I just laid down facing the wall next to me for about 4 hours. I didn't want to be in this damn place anymore. I needed someone to give me some kind of pep talk to even move. I needed someone to tell me a logical reason not to give up because once again my logic was fading and confused. It was twisted throughout the events that have happened since I've been here.

It was finally dinner time. The door opened and I closed my eyes like I was asleep. "Zoe, its dinner time" that familiar voice said as I kept my eyes shut. Maybe he'll think I'm sleeping, I thought. "Don't make me have to tell you again" he said. I felt slight panic and turned to look at him.

"I'm really tired and not very hungry. I'll just skip dinner tonight, sir"

"Zoe. Since when did you think you had a choice? Just like when you're at home with them, you only have choices, when they are offered to you from the people in charge. Now, do I have to tell you again, get up" he replied. I stared at him for a moment, then stood up slowly. I wondered what would happen if I threw up on my plate at the table and said 'told you". Maybe I could pretend to pass out, but I doubt it would work. They'd just shock me most likely.

I sat at the familiar wooden table with my back to the windows like usual. The blinds were closed so I couldn't see the outside world. They've been closed before but usually, they're open and I like to see the freedom I'll never have. Every day he sits me in the same place- the right seat next to his seat. I looked over at the front door in the distance, or at least I thought it was the front door. It made sense that it would be. I just wanted to go out in the freezing cold snow to get some air and clear my mind. I didn't care that I was barefoot with short sleeves on. I just wanted a second of freedom. Actually, I just wanted to walk out that door and keep walking.

I knew I would probably get less than a mile before frostbite set in. Leaving this place wasn't an option for me. I was going to be here until mister mind games decided I was ready. Just as my mind started to entertain the thought of going to the door, two guys brought the girls in that had been punished. I tried to avoid looking at them because I felt guilty. They were sat opposite each other with one of the girls left next to me.