Everyone Breaks 3

17. Adventures of the Mind

(I love this song ^^^ 'Rise' by Katy Perry. If I re-use a song, I'm sure you all wont care much, lol)

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A/N
Hey y'all, here's an early update. I hope you enjoy it. I know it's not Sunday 😁😇.

If you have a question, let me know & I'll see if I can answer it. Good night to you all...or morning if you live somewhere other then Texas.

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I sat in the nursery, with my sweet little girls. My thoughts of what could happen to me became fairly exadrated. The girls are growing so fast & I want to be around for their entire lives, so if Pav kills me with his anger issues or they send me to a cement room hours away, I wont be able to live that dream.

I'm really happy I patched things up with Warren, but I still don't know what's going on in the other guy's minds. Sleeping with warrent felt more emotionally positive then with any of the other guys. It's hard to explain, but with him, I wouldnt mind it happening again.

Pav is on his way home. I'm assuming with Zac, Mila & Willem. Maybe if I bring the babies out, Pav's heart will warm up & he'll grow compassion. Maybe he won't punish me as badly.

I finished feeding & changing the girls & just sat there waiting. I turned on a little music, while I tried to take my mind off of the 'what if's' that are swarming around in my head. Fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra came on & It calmed my nerves a bit. The girls were acting a bit restless after awhile. I think they felt my stress. I thought they could use some fresh air, since I rarely take them out of the house.

I put them on some warm clothes. Their cute little matching cream colored rompers. They looked adorable.

I carried them down & sat them in the stroller that was stored in the front closet. I just had on my maxi dress & flats. I knew Lucas was probably minutes away from stopping me, so I moved fast. I covered the girls with their blankets & gave them their pacifiers. I just planned to walk down the driveway until I reached how far I wanted to go, then turn around. I stepped outside & goosebumps formed on my arms, from the cold weather. It would've been nice if they would've bought me a jacket.

It felt good to be out of the house. I got about 20 quick steps before I heard the door open. "Where do you think you're going" the familiar voice said. I didnt even look back, I just kept walking. I knew it was darik's voice. "I'm going for a walk, I'll be back" I said with frustration.

"You're not supposed to leave the house. Who the hell said you could go" he said loudly with annoyance. I looked back quickly to see him run back in the house shirtless & barefoot "fück" is all he said. I wondered why he came out & where that bastard Lucas was. Probably having private handjob time in the bathroom. The guys didnt tell me to stay in the house, so a little walk should be fine.

I continued my walk down the long driveway path. Why couldn't they leave me alone. What was I going to do- walk through the woods, with the girls in a stroller for miles to get to the next door neighbor's house. It would be dark before I got half way & my fear of being eaten alive outweighs my will to run away & risk all 3 of our lives for the possibility that we might just might get away.

The cold autumn air started to feel good on my skin. I was no longer cold since my pulse was up. I continued up the hill of the road. This was the most I'd walked in awhile, other then running through the hospital. The girls were looking around. I really didn't feel scared out on the street because we were still in the open. If anything, it helped calm my worries. Even if just for a little while, I felt normal like I did back in Utah walking them. I smiled down at them as I walked.