A/N
I already wrote this in my Oneshot book but I decided to also post it here because not many people really see it. And I mean not many.
Sometimes I wonder to myself Why do I feel like everybody hates me? I ask myself that question everyday and yet I still can't figure out a solution or an answer. It has bothered me for years.
Maybe I just wasn't good enough? Maybe I'm just not one of them? Maybe I'm different? One thing is so to know is that I'm not special either.
I laid alone on my bed, thinking to myself. But my own thoughts even scared me. I couldn't think straight.
Bottles of beer and alcohol surrounded me. They haunted me like familiar silhouettes looking down at my wasted soul. I saw the burns on my arms, the burns of the cigarettes my dad uses.
Every time he smokes and sees me, he'd lay the burnt end of the cigarette on my arm as I cry. He didn't care. He doesn't listen to me anymore. He's gone.
I stared up at the ugly ceiling, the paint slowly fading away. My head was aching, my heart was pounding, my body was weak, I was practically wasted.
I heard bells from outside my open window. I glimpsed just a bit, seeing kids my age dancing and playing around. One of them was singing, one of them was just reading a book, and another one of them was practically just dancing for joy.
It made me jealous but happy for them. They're having the time of their life. I shouldn't be craving and stealing that kind of happiness from anyone at all. But she stole my happiness. She took it away from me like taking candy from a baby.
But then it got me thinking again. Maybe I'm just wrong. Maybe I'm just overthinking it all. I didn't want to be depressed my entire life. I got up from bed and fixed myself. I brushed my hair, washed my face, brushed my teeth and changed my clothes.
As I walked out of the house, the kids my age saw me and quickly walked away. They knew me thanks to my haunted-looking house that was owned by my wasted father.
I sighed to myself and walked out to admire the beauty of nature. As I passed by a row of flower bushes, they started rotting as I went close to them. Even the grass I was on was rotting. I felt cursed.
I saw a wilted flower laying on the ground, dying in front of me. I knelt down and picked it up. It reminded me of my soul slowly dying.
I arrived in a familiar park, filled with beautiful nature and animals. I walked around but every step I make, the further away the animals go away. I looked down at my feet, frowning sadly.
I tried making a friend but they end up walking away and shutting me out. I try talking to them but they ignore me. I shook my head and shut my eyes closed tightly.
I walked to the memorial park right next to this park. I felt so many dead souls lurking around me. I heard the sound of crows screaming at me. I seemed to look the most colorful and brightest in this dark and eerie park.
So many tombstones laid there on the ground. So many dead humans buried under the ground as if to make their body feel like they're out of breath, the suffocating air choking them to death the second time.
I approached hers. Her tombstone was grey. A little flower was set beside it. It was the flower she always had behind or over her ear and wrapped by her hair. Her bright smile appeared on my mind, her colorful eyes shining in my head, her beautiful face jogging up my memories of her.
I knelt down in front of her, tears forming down my face, watering my eyes and my heart breaking countless of times.
I felt her arms around me, I shivered but I embraced it. I started to sob and choke on my own tears. I was turning into a mess again. It was starting to rain when a thunder roared, muffling my cries.
I screamed in emotional pain. The raindrops fell on me, running down my arms and soothing the burns on my forearms. I wrapped myself by my own arms to think of her hugging me. I wanted to embrace her so tightly.
Another loud roar of thunder.
Another wave of rain.
Another scream of emotional pain.
"Why did you leave me?"
I grabbed the gun and put the bullet hole under my chin, still crying.
Bang.
