I twitched, shaking. I felt so weak. I felt frustrated. I was so confused. Thoughts started welling up in my head. I could barely think somehow. I felt cold, like a pair of freezing hands caressing me, urging something to happen.
I was washing the dishes at 8 pm. It was my turn, and everyone was upstairs. But I didn't even feel lonely. I felt two eyes staring at me, loving the sight of me feeling so anxious.
I grabbed a knife that I carefully washed, suddenly cutting my palm as I hissed. I dropped the knife to the ground, the soap and water splattering everywhere, a hint of red too.
Blood poured out of my palm. I gripped my wrist, panicking and crying. Somehow, it didn't hurt that bad. It sorta felt good. It felt like something I've been doing for years now. Ever since the incident.
"Oh sweetie," I heard a voice behind me. I jumped, turning around with my hand still gripping my wrist and looking up at a floating silhouette of myself. Her short hair was flowing, my brown eyes were instead red for her. She landed onto the ground, grabbing my bleeding hand and analyzed it. "What a beautiful sight."
I suddenly felt broken and cold, I felt no emotion at all.
She looked at me with her bloody red eyes, smiling. Then she picked up the knife, handing it to me. "Do it again," she commanded.
I hesitantly grabbed the knife from fear. It looked like she was growing taller, looking down at me with lust from the adrenaline.
I gazed at the knife.
"What's wrong?" She gently grabbed my chin and lifted up my head to look up at her.
"Don't worry, it's just a cut. Once that sharp end slits through your soft skin, it'll start feeling really good, like a hobby. It's not like you've never wanted to feel pain. You've been doubting yourself, right? Then why don't you show yourself a hell of a time."
Suddenly, the light got brighter and I saw my mother. She gasped and saw my bloody hand. She headed towards me quickly and went ahead to bandage the cut after a few certain steps.
"I never should've left you alone." She sighed.
"Oh don't worry, I didn't feel lonely anyway." I replied, feeling a cold hand combing my hair.
