No U

H a (rant alert)

I do act way too jealous. Sure, it's a bad thing, I understand.

I don't reply because I'm always speechless. I can't find the right words to say all the darn time like I'm a freaking extrovert that just blurts everything out and doesn't care about the consequences after they've said something.

I don't take requests because sometimes I can. I'm not saying that I hate the people who ask for requests, no. I can do what I want. I can do requests when I feel like doing them. But I apologize because sometimes I can forget about them, too. I have these ideas in my head that I want to draw out. I want to do the things that I like as much as I can.

I don't talk to anyone because I'm afraid of what they'll say and what I'll say because I have no idea what would happen if I said something wrong.

I understand that I lose friends. I lost a lot of people. I've learned to move on. I've learned to keep moving while still having them deep in my heart. And if they think I don't mean anything to them, then bam, bye bye.

Oh haha, sure, give me everything you can offer me. But that doesn't mean I can give everything back to you. It's not really that necessary to give me things you want to offer to me just because you want me to give something back to you. It doesn't work like that, child.

I'm toxic. I'm jealous. I can learn to be fine with that. Call me anything you want, but I WILL learn to literally march my way out without hearing a single damn negative comment about myself.

I'm not myself for no reason. That just doesn't make sense, does it? No reason, you say? Think before you say, okay? Good, good.

Sure, it's nice to have people "like and comment" on my art/posts, but do you think they mean it "personally"? Think about this, having to post your art and being noticed by several of my favorite artists and saying that you're not being supported. I wanted to be in your spot. I want to be in your shoes. But now? Lmao, I'm proud with where I am now. I'll learn to push myself back up. I'll always learn.

Sure, I say my art is rubbish and it really is! I understand that it can be "selfish", but I'm putting myself down. How is that being selfish, exactly? I hate my art. I appreciate people's support, I really do. I love them with my entire life and I'd even have their names tattooed on my arm.

I love art. I love art so much that I've kept going. Deep down, I know that I hate my results, but I've been proud of how people say otherwise. I can let myself hate my art, but having to see other people like it? I'll keep drawing and tire my fingers out until they can't even draw anymore but I'd keep drawing no matter what. I'm still learning. I'm still proud. I'm still motivated to keep going even when I say I'm not. I'm learning to build up my courage until I learn how to do better art and show them to world. Sure, you draw what you enjoy. I draw what whatever I can and put as many effort as I can even if I say I hate it. My tiny inner personality, my stupid and immature self hidden inside myself somehow cherishes with that I do now.

I love what I draw even if I say that I don't.

I love those derpy drawings of Lake, humans and other fandoms I'm in. I LOVE DERP

Sure, you can drop me out from your life, but I'll still land on my feet once you let me go :)

Here's some drawings that I've been working :0

Here's a future Tord from Eddsworld ;0

And here's broppy :0