Heart of Fire

🔥Thirty-Nine🔥

Song: Ghost of You- 5 Seconds of Summer 

Sunlight peeked through my bedroom window, and I slowly opened my eyes as I sat up. For a couple seconds, I just sat there, taking in everything. With a deep breath, I rolled out of my bed and walked to my window seat, leaning against the wall and watching the outside world, letting out a sigh. For a split-second, I caught a glimpse of Theo standing there, smiling up at me, but with one blink, he was gone.

That day marked exactly one week since he died. I visited him every night to tell him how the day went, what was new with the pack, and how much I loved him. He still looked as handsome as ever, but it was hard not being able to talk to him. 

I sighed again before I glanced back at my bedroom door. I blinked again, and he was leaning against my bedroom door, that sly grin of his lingering on his lips.

"Hey, princess." He would say with a wink, and I would roll my eyes before walking over and hugging him.

But then I blinked again, and he was gone. And in the silence of my room, my world became blacker than it ever was before, darker for his absence, loneliness crippling my every thought.

It hadn't been easy, but every morning I woke up with the mindset of having to be strong for Theo. He wouldn't have wanted me to mope around or stay in bed crying all day. Theo wanted me to be happy and strong. I turned my head to look out my window again, watching the trees move slowly as a breeze blew through them, and I watched a blue bird flying through the air with ease. And even when it was such a beautiful day, I couldn't enjoy it, because the absence of him weighed too heavy in my mind. I could speak a million words, each one the same as the last in sentiment and cadence. It boiled down to one thing; I missed him. He should have been there beside me. If I was being selfish, I really didn't care. I had never loved someone as much as I loved him. My heart is missing an integral piece, a part that keeps it from working correctly. I didn't think I would ever completely heal the wound Theo left when he died.

"What's on your mind, Mel?" I glanced over my shoulder to see Hazel leaning against my dresser. Every morning since he died, she would come and ask the same question. I appreciated her for caring, but the only person I wanted to see walk through that door was the only one who couldn't anymore.

"I missed how he called me princess." My eyes became blurry, and I looked back out the window. "I used to hate that nickname, but then he started to call me that, and I fell in love with it and him."

"It's okay, Melody. You guys had something most people don't get in a lifetime. It's okay to grieve." I nodded, and she shot me one last smile before walking out of my room.

Since Theo died, everything changed. Tobias became the new leader since he was the second brother, and Maggie became his right hand since she was the oldest sister. Hazel worked on keeping guard around the house with the guards, and she hunted for new vampires while Tobias trained the newborns. Every night at dinner, it was awfully silent because nobody spoke, and all to be heard was the clattering of silverware against plates. Nobody knew what to say, and nobody knew how to react with Theo gone. After dinner, everyone just went to their rooms for the night. The boys hadn't touched the Xbox. The girls no longer watched their TV shows in the mornings. Everything seemed wrong without him.

I walked around the house until I reached the gym. Every morning, he would stand at that punching bag and punch it until his knuckles bled, or he felt like he had "killed" it. I could remember when he first started training me, all the punches he threw at the bag was pent-up anger toward me. That was when he hated me, always made fun of me, and pushed me to my breaking point, yet I could never remember a time when I truly hated him. All I could remember was watching him hit that punching bag and thinking about how sexy he was with the sweat dripping down his chiseled abs and the focused look that crossed his face. All I could think about was how much I admired his drive.

The next thing I saw was the track. Another memory flashed into my mind, and I was suddenly in the gym, standing in front of Theo and I. That moment was as clear as day. I had just ran 100 laps, and Theo was yelling at me for not pushing myself hard enough. I was lying on the floor, completely out of breath because I had been weak from a fight earlier in the week. He was yelling at me, and all I could do was watch him. Something must have snapped inside of me, because I suddenly burst into tears, and any yell left in Theo suddenly died down. I laid there and bawled my eyes out, and all he did was stare at me. I was so fed up with his constant yelling and torment that I reached my breaking point. Theo looked so conflicted as he watched me cry, and then, he laid down on top of me, holding up his weight with his elbows. Some of my crying died down, while I stared up at him with glassy eyes, and he took the pad of his thumb, wiped away my tears, and smiled down at me.

"Don't cry, princess. You're too beautiful to cry." He had whispered, and all I could do was stare up at him with my bloodshot eyes and sniffling nose. Theo caressed my cheek with his hand, and I bit my lip.

"I'm trying, Theo. I really am, but I'm still weak from that fight, you know, and all you do is yell at me. It hurts."

He frowned as he pushed my hair out of my face. "I know, princess. I know you're trying and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you."

He planted a gentle kiss against my forehead, and a small smile formed on my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he grinned.

"Good. I love seeing your smile. Now, keep that smile on, or I just might have to do something about it." He winked, and I giggled. I knew exactly what he had meant, and I probably would have done anything with him had it meant he was alive again.

"Oh yeah?" I smirked, leaning closer to him. "What are you gonna do about it?"

His smirk turned almost devilish, and he leaned so close, our lips brushed against each other's.

"This," He whispered, pecking my lips, "And a lot more."

His lips crashed into mine, and we both smiled through the kiss. That memory put a smile on my face, but then I blinked, and he was gone again. And as I stared at the spot where we just were, I realized that was exactly how grief felt. You know they were there, and you remembered every detail about them, but then you blinked, and they were gone. Not only were they gone, but a piece of your heart, whether big or small, went with them, and all you were left with was the lonely, deadly silence of existing without them. That was how grief felt-- searching for something that was never coming back while attempting to fill the hole they left in your heart. 

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Hey, loves!

This is one of my favorite chapters not because of what happens in it, but simply because of the song attached to it 😂 IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES :)

I was going to update this yesterday and not todsy, but I was so busy yesterday that it slipped my mind. SO here it is today.

How did y'all feel about Theo's absence? Hazel and Mel's talk? Melody's memories?

Make sure to comment, vote, and spread the word!

Thanks for reading!

Much love,

-Abby