The Real World |5sos fanfic|

Part 16- Needing Him

I woke up later that morning to the hair raising sound of my alarm. I rolled over and picked up my phone to silence the excruciatingly loud music that was drilling into my head. I turned it off but the ringing echoed in my ears.

It was half 7. At most I had one hour of broken sleep, scattered sparingly among the tears and nightmares.

I lay in my bed for a while contemplating if I would raise my aching body for college. I rarely missed a day and when I did I always had a good reason.

I decided that I wouldn't go so I threw my phone back onto the locker beside my bed. I let my shoulders fall back down onto the mattress and tried get some sleep.

Three hours passed and I had drifted into a semi conscious state on and off. I was still exhausted though.

I sat up in my bed rubbing my burning eyes. They were empty of tears but still heavy with sadness. I hit the cut below my left socket.

'Ow shit,' I hissed under my breath. I got out of bed and checked in my bedroom mirror if I had knocked the scab.

Luckily it hadn't but the cut was deeper than I had first though, I examined it thoroughly. I sighed and went out to the kitchen.

I walked by my uncle's shut door, wishing the monster behind it would be cured of his demons. I had tried to encourage him in the past but my efforts were futile.

I dabbed some strong gin onto a kitchen cloth and held it to my face.

I let out a sharp cry as the alcohol soaked into the wound, stinging like a blade. I bit my lip to stifle any more noises as I continued to press down on it.

I looked around the apartment. There was books all over the floor and furniture knocked out of place. I wish I could turn a blind eye to the mess and let someone else deal with it. I knew, though, if I didn't pick up the pieces no one would.

*

I spent the best part of an hour on my hands and knees cleaning the apartment. I gathered things that had fallen, rearranged knocked furniture and scrubbed the splattered blood stains that had dried over night. 

When I was done I had to escape the apartment. I couldn't bare another minute among these haunted walls. I grabbed a bag and packed the basic necessities, my work uniform and phone charger.

Running away from the problem was never the solutions; but sometimes you just had to do it.

*

I walked around the city aimlessly for a long time. I walked and walked until my legs ached. I was surprised I was still managing to stand after how little I slept. I wasn't paying much attention to where I was going, turning random corners and strolling down unknown streets. 

Then it hit me and I realized where I was. How did I get here? 

I looked around, taking in the houses I had passed a few times before. I hadn't intended on walking here, it was at least a two hour walk from my house. While my head had been in the cloud my heart had pulled me here. I stood looking down the street where Ashton lived.

*

I contemplated texting him, letting him know I was here. I shook off the urge and walked straight up to his house. I stood outside, holding my breath for a long time. I could hear no music coming from the garage adjacent to his bungalow. I guessed band practice wasn't on. 

I was relieved. The last person I wanted to see today was Michael. 

I strolled up to his front door. Nothing in my head seemed to be working right. This plan was irrational and stupid but I didn't care. It didn't matter. The only person I wanted to see right now was Ashton. 

I knocked on his door and waited to be greeted by his beautiful, carefree smile.

I wasn't. Instead, the door was opened by a middle aged woman with short blond hair. 'Hi,' she said, smiling to cover her confusion. I stared back at her, too tired to say anything. hoping she'd know why I was here. It was ridiculous, of course she wouldn't. 'Can I help you?' 

I nodded my head, 'Is Ashton here?' I said weakly.

'Em, yes he is,' she eyed me up and down, looked inside and then back at me, still with a fake smile plastered on her face. 'Just one second.' She closed the door over. I thought about just walking away but my legs were so weak I wouldn't have made it to the end of the driveway. 

I rested my tired body against the wall for support. I waited for what felt like a lifetime. Then the door opened again. 

'Hello?' Ashton stuck his head out. He was shirtless and I thought my already wobbling knees were going to cave in. 

'Hey,' I said, a small grin tugging at my lips. In that split second of seeing Ashton it was like all the painful images from last night in my head faded from bright colours to grey. They were irrelevant now he was in front of me.

He looked at me before he said anything. He took in every inch of my ghostly face; my pale checks, the dark circles around my eyes and he's gaze rested on the cut. 'Jess,' he trailed off, lost for words. 

I needed him so badly. I needed his arms holding me, pulling me so close to him there was no gaps between our bodied. I needed his strong hand rubbing the small of my back reassuringly. I needed his lips placing loving kisses on my forehead, wiping away stray hairs, exposing more skin for him taste. I needed to hear his deep voice telling me he was here for me and that everything was going to me ok. I needed him. I needed Ashton. 

I threw myself forward, speechless and hopeful that he would catch me in an embrace. I felt his muscular arms wrap around me. He held me like I had needed him to. He said nothing though and that was ok. He didn't have to. I knew everything was going to be ok.

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Hmm.. I feel this is a little bit boring :/ Consider this a filler? Or free Ashton feels idk.. haha