The Real World |5sos fanfic|

Part 21- Chance

'What?' I said, stunned with disbelief. 

Michael shook his head and rummaged in his pocket for his box of cigarettes. He flipped it open, reveling it was empty. 'Shit,' he muttered running his hands through his hair. 

'Michael!' I said, trying to catch his attention. 'What the hell are you talking about?'

'Jess,' he stepped forward and then turned around to walk away from me. He took a few steps then turned back to face me. 'Jess I... I want you.' He looked down at the ground, pulling his jumper's sleeves over his hands. A nervous habit of his. 'The way you look at Ashton, I want you to look at me like that. I want to be the one who you can't get out of your head. I want to be the one you dream about, with my arms around you. I want you... I want you to want me. The same way you want Ashton.'

I was speechless. A million things were buzzing through my brain but none of them clear enough to form a sentence. 'I... I... I'm sorry Michael.' 

I turned and put the key in the door. 

'Jess,' he stepped up behind me, his voice trembling. 

I stayed facing the door, waiting for him to continue.

'Jess, I just, I just knew from the minute I saw you that I liked you. You were standing behind the bar, I saw you singing along to some of the songs and I though, wow, she is beautiful. I was too scared to say anything to you, I was just some boy in a loser band. Then I saw you the week after and I decided to man up and go over to talk to you, but you were deep in conversation with Calum,' I turned to face him now, listening to every word he said. 'I backed out, I didn't want to be shot down by a girl in front of my best friend so I went out the back to think of a way to get your attention.'

I waited for him to go on.

'I found a flyer for our show the next night and wrote a message on in for you. My hands were shaking so bad Jess I swear and I couldn't sign my name on it, I tried but I couldn't even get myself to write my stupid name.'

I turned to face him. I remembered back to the flyer I had crumpled and thrown in the bin. The one signed with Calum's name. It made sense, Calum had no recollection of it when I had mentioned it to him.

'I just needed to see you again Jess,' he whispered, dropping his head, 'and then when you showed up I thought, hey, this is a sign, maybe I have a chance with her... And then I saw you look at Ashton. You were caught up on his every move. As soon as you laid your eyes on him I knew... I knew you felt the same about him as I felt about you.  And Jess it fucking tore me to pieces. It still... It still does.'

We both stood with tears escaping our eyes. Michael's narrowed with shame and sadness. Mine wide with shock and confusion.

Michael had so much to say and once he had started it was like he couldn't stop.

'I was so surprised to see you that first time you showed up at band practice. You were like a reoccuring beautiful nightmare. You kept popping up in my dreams, in my thoughts and in my life. Then the day after, in the bar, I felt as though it was my last chance to talk to you. I thought it was my last chance to get you to notice me before Aston swept you off your feet. He told us backstage that you two had planned to do stuff together. That broke me. Everything inside me felt like it had shattered, and all the jagged edges were digging into me, hurting even more.'

His whole body quivered as my mind recapped the past few weeks. As he spoke I felt parts of me break for him. I didn't understand why he felt like this, he hardly knew me. I had so much I wanted to say to him but nothing was coming out my mouth.

'I don't understand...' was all I could manage.

He looked at me, wounded, 'remember how you felt when Ash was with that blond in the bar?'

I nodded my head, the sickening feeling in my stomach returned.

'That's how I feel about you Jess,' he edged closer to me, cupping my face in his hands.  'When I saw the look on your face when he had his arm around her... It hurt me knowing it hurt you. I don't know why but I wanted to stand up and the bar and scream at you, 'Jess look at me I'm right here, I'm going to love you the way you want if you just, if you gave me a chance.' But I didn't, I told you to go after Ashton.'

I wanted to pull away, step back from Michael but I couldn't. The hurt was burning in his eyes that held mine like drowning man clutching to whatever he could to stay afloat. I wanted to turn and run away, I wanted to forget this ever happened. 

I couldn't though. Something deep in me was pulling me towards Michael, like a magnetic attraction between us.

'Say something Jess, please, please say something,' tears were running down his face, over his bruise and falling from his chin. He made no effort to wipe them away his hands still holding my face.

'I don't know what to say.'

'Anything, please, just say anything.' Michael sobbed bitterly. 'Jess, I think... I am in love with you.'

I was so shocked. I had never seen a boy cry. I had never been told that I was loved by anyone but family. I was shaking hard but I don't think Michael noticed because he was doing the same. 

'Michael,' I started and stopped, 'I can't.' I shook off his hold.

His hands dropped to his side, deflated and defeated. 

He took a step backwards and I turned the key in the door.

'Goodnight Michael,' was the only thing I could say. I opened the door and went in letting it close behind me, without giving him a chance to say anything more.

*

I awoke the next morning to my phone violently ringing. I picked it up and looked at the time first. It was almost midday. 

I was unsure as to what time I had eventually gotten to sleep at last night. I was unsure about everything that happened last night. Maybe it had all been one big, awful dream? 

I looked at who was calling me; it was Ashton.

I cleared my voice before answering but it came out scratchy anyway, 'Hello?'

'Well good morning lazy bones,' Ashton spoke cheerily, ' I have been texting you all morning! Don't tell me you just woke up now? Anyway, how would you like to be treated like a princess today?' 

I smiled, warmth and reassurance flooding my body, 'that sounds incredible.' 

'Awesome!' he said, giggling, 'I will pick you up in an hour, is that enough time for you to get ready?' 

'Yes, that's plenty. I can't wait to see you,' I said getting up out of bed.

'Great, and Jess?' he said, raising his voice as he spoke.

'Yes?' I replied, intrigued.

'You're beautiful.' And with that he hung up.

God, he was flawless.

*

An hour later, right on time, Ashton pulled up outside my door. I climbed into the red car, leaning across to kiss him. 

'So, Prince Charming,' I said jokingly, 'what have you got planned for us today?'

'Oh just you wait and see Princess.' He winked at me sending me into a spinning state. 

He drove on, talking to me about their gig later and I smiled back at him. 

But for some reason my mind was else where. My mind was with someone else.

Michael.

Michael.

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THIS IS MY FAV CHAPTER SO FAR UGHHH