Through The Dark | √

34

Kenzi

I pushed myself off my bed the next morning feeling groggy as ever. No matter how much I tried to rub the sleep from my eyes, they burned. Last night had been a hard one for me. I couldn't sleep. I'd kept tossing, turning and letting a few tears escape my eyes.

I was overwhelmed.

My eyes darted to Darcy's side of the room and she lay on her bed, asleep. She hadn't come in all the time I'd been awake the previous day, and I wish it would be that way forever. I had the feeling my life in university would be much easier if I didn't have her as a roommate.

I dragged myself to the bathroom, my legs feeling heavy, and was out minutes later, dressed for school. I faced my mirror and let my hair loose from the bond it was in. I grabbed my hair brush and ran it down my hair, taking some time to also pull my jeans a bit which hung so tightly to my thighs. I felt surprisingly uncomfortable in it, but also knew that I was starting to put on a little weight which just seemed unsual to me.

I wore a bit of perfume that only left nostalgic feelings. Mom loved the scent so much and had bought it for me, also warning me to be careful and that it could attract bees. Ignoring the stinging feeling in my eyes, I grabbed my bag and made for the door.

"Mackenzie," Darcy's voice was sudden. Like, she had been waiting to stop me.

Right now, Wednesday night wasn't on my mind anymore. What was on my mind was mom... And Tanner. He hadn't even replied to the text I'd sent him before going to bed last night.

"About Wednesday night." She started.

"Just shut up," I didn't want to say that, but it felt oddly good. "Unless you stop being a damn hard book to read and come clean with me about you are and who you are, don't say a word to me."

"I—"

I shut the door behind me, not wanting to hear what she had to say. As soon as I got out of the dorms, I suddenly felt lost. Where did I think I was going? Usually, by this time, I would be on my way to Coffee Hearts where Tanner would already be waiting for me with my own cup of coffee.

I didn't want to do this without him this morning, so I got out my phone and texted him.

~On my way to the café. Are you there yet?~

My heart sank when his reply came through.

~No. You can go without me.~

Go without him? Did he just ask me to go without him to get coffee? Did he know how hard that'll be if I wanted to? The last one I'd gone there to thinking I could have coffee alone, I'd ended up laughing and talking with Laiqah.

I felt tired. I felt sleepy, but I couldn't. I was so used to this I didn't want to do it without him, so I made my way to my department. I was amazed when I walked into the class to see only Dylan in. He sat, earphones in his ear, staring at nothing in particular.

I had no idea he was always in class so early.

I took my seat beside him, a light smile on my face, "Hey," I said a little too loudly just so he could hear me over whatever he wants listening to.

He seemed to hear me because he looked at me. I expected him to take out his earphones, but he didn't.

"Hello?" I inched my face to his and when he isn't acknowledge my presence, I waved in his front.

"The fuck is your problem? Can't you tell when a person doesn't want to speak to you?" He sounded just like Tanner sounded the day before. Cold.

"I'm sorry," I swallowed. "Is everything alright?'

"Is everything alright?" He looked at me, disbelief laced in those three words taking out the earphones. "Of course everything is alright."

I looked at him weirdly, "Are you having—"

"Everything is fine. I trusted you, you fucked me over, that's fine," he laughed humorlessly.

"Dyl—"

"No, don't even start. You think you can just walk in here and act like nothing happened? Like you don't know what you did Wednesday night?"

It then occurred to me.

Darcy.

I closed my eyes as I cursed inwardly. Dylan had only been seated across the room, of course he'd have seen what happened.

"You're... You're talking about the party right..?"

"No, the Michael Jackson concert," he said in all seriousness, it took a while to occur to me that Michael Jackson wasn't alive.

Damn, he beat my fluency in sarcasm.

"Dylan, what happened was—"

"Oh, spare me that bullshit. I trusted you, Mackenzie. I fucking let you know what I didn't tell anyone. And I've been here for two years. You know how I feel about Darcy. The least you could do was respect my sick love for her, not bitch about it by kissing her on the pretext of not knowing I was just across the room." He yelled and I could see the veins popping out in his neck.

"That's not what happened, Dylan," I said sternly.

"Now you want to twist the story. Go ahead," he looked bored and I sighed, "Dylan, I just need you to hear me out. I'm having a shit morning and—"

"You think you're having a shit morning? Yeah? Not having a piece of gum alone makes a shit morning for me."

It didn't occur to me that he wasn't chewing gum this morning and I started wondering why he always had to chew gum?

"Why... why do you have to chew gum?" I asked softly.

He rolled his eyes, "Do I look like I'm about to tell you anything about me again?"

I breathed, "Dylan—"

"The only thing I'll tell you is don't expect me to ask you to come to another party."

I remembered Tanner's words to me yesterday, "You don't have to worry about that. I don't intend on stepping my foot to another one."

"Yeah, save us the free show," he didn't look at me.

"That hurt," I told him.

"No, that shit didn't hurt," he rolled his eyes.

"Why can't you just listen to me?" my voice raised impulsively.

"Because I'm not obligated to," he yelled. "And maybe because you're like every fucking person in my life who has screwed me over!" He hurled and I flinched.

A student chose that time to enter the class and I moved uncomfortably in my seat, looking at Dylan through the side of my eyes. He'd run a hand through his hair, sniffed and moved uncomfortably in his seat.

We'd both realized the need to be civilized.

*

Authors Note

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