All I Ever Wanted

Chapter Nine

I blink several times. The lights are too bright. The lights pierce my eyes like daggers and I quickly shut them. My head feels like an elephant jumped all over it and my leg feels like it just got hit by a car. Wait. I did just get hit by a car! My eyes fly open and this time bright lights are the last thing on my mind.

I sit up quickly and look around. No one is here. I glance at my leg, it's clear I won't be able to walk on it. A pair of crutches is propped against the wall. I grab them and hop out of bed. Escaping from hospital is easier than I thought. I wonder just how long I've been unconscious for.

I must look a little strange limping around the hospital as I am. What I'm trying to do is find a phone. I stop a desk and hop over too it. "Can..." I pause catching my breath. "Can I borrow the phone please?"

The woman behind the desk seems unsure. "Be quick." She says and tosses me the phone. Quickly I dial my home number. It rings several times before being picked up.

"Hello? Who is this?" It's a man's voice.

I know it isn't a wrong number; I carefully dialled pacifically so that didn't happen. So that means some stranger is in my house. I panic. What did he do with my sister? What if - calm. Stay calm. I tell myself, he wouldn't have answed the phone if something was wrong. Perhaps I'm missing something. I take a deep breath and think for a moment. I need to talk to my sister so demanding why he is in my house wouldn't be smart. "I need to speak with Phoebe Riley please." I say formally, In a voice that makes me seem ten years older.

There's a pause at the end of the line. "May, I ask who is speaking?" The man says.

This time I think I recognise the voice. Memories flood back. I was four, I think. My mom was on the phone. She was arguing with whoever was on the line. Then my mother threw the phone across the room in frustration and I heard him shouting from outside. "Rose!". Rose is the nickname he had for my mother. My mother opened the door and there he stood his phone pressed to his ear. "Please?" He asked a sincere expression on his face. Yet somehow I couldn't bring myself to trust him.

It is the same voice. The man on the line is my father.

The nurses have found me and are trying to take me to my room. I want to talk to my sister but I in shock. I don't have the energy to fight them. I go limp and let the nurses take me to my room. I lie on the bed and my eyelids flutter closed. The last thing on mind is, is it all a dream? Or rather, a nightmare.

When I wake up, for the second time today I hear voices. I keep my eyes closed for a minute listening. The first voice I hear is a nurse. "She should wake up soon. Don't worry."

"She better wake up soon! We've been here for an hour!" That is my mother. Obviously grumbling about having to wait for me to wake up. She sounds unusually sober.

The last voice I hear is the one I respond to "Emma please wake up." Phoebe begs. I sit up and wrap my arms around Phoebe. I hug her tightly and once the shock wears off she hugs me back. I feel the tears soak my top. Actually it's not my top, it belongs to the hospital but either way. "It's my entire fault." Phoebe wails.

I mess up her perfect hair but it still looks angelic with her blue eyes. It's not fair how she gets to be so pretty. Then I tell her sincerely, "It's not your fault." I whisper it in her ear so no one car hear. She seems to believe me and she falls asleep on my shoulder. I lie her on the bed next to me and my gaze wonders to my mother's impatient stare.

She glares at me and complains "The nurse wouldn't let me wake you up. I mean really? There's nothing wrong with you!" My eyes widen. How could she be so blind? I thought it was impossible to miss the state my leg is in. It's wrapped up tightly and is probably broken. How could she think there's nothing wrong with me? Phoebe is the only reason she's still here.

I climb over Phoebe and balance carefully on one leg. I rest as much weight as possible on my broken right leg. Then I scoop up Phoebe and rest her on my left side. I hold onto her with my left hand and in my right I scoop up a crutch. Time to get out of here. It's awkward to move like this and takes forever to even take one step. I move slowly as not to jolt or wake Phoebe. My mother strides on ahead. She reaches the desk signs the release papers. By this time I've caught up to her and I breathlessly walk towards the car.

Yes. My mother has her licence. She got it a while ago, before she had Phoebe. She's has several points but never the less, it is legal for her to drive. When we reach the car she opens the door and pulls Phoebe out of my grasp. The sudden change of weight makes me lose my balance and I land in a muddy puddle. Ignoring me my mother lovingly puts Phoebe into the front seat.

My mother blames me for dad leaving. Sometimes she blames Phoebe too and sometimes mother loves Phoebe more than anything. Today seems to be the latter. She sits it the driver's seat and leaves me here without looking back. The tires flick mud on to my face. I don't try and wipe it away.

I feel tears spring to my eyes but I don't let them fall. I stand up ignoring curious stares. Once I'm up someone behind me gives me a friendly shove and I collapse back down. I look up to see Mike. I smile sadly but it's all too much. I let the tears stream down my face.