All I Ever Wanted

Abe's POV

Abe's POV

Black, black, black.

Why is there so much black? I catch sight of a flutter of pink and scowl. Momma wouldn't let me wear what I wanted, why do other people get to? I sigh at the unfairness of it all. Everyone here is crying. I even saw Emma cry. 

We’re walking through the woods and my shoes are getting scuffed. I expect momma to tell me off but for once, she lets it slide. We reach a clearing where Phoebe and Emma stand. Phoebe sends me a smile, and I grin back.

Momma, Mike and Emma stand around an old grave. A shiver runs up my spine as I think of it. Its beyond creepy. Phoebe seems to think so too. She pulls a face at me. I pull one back.  

When they are distracted Phoebe and I slip into the woods. I feel eyes burn into my back and I know despite our subtle exit we were seen. I sigh, hoping we won't get called back. Phoebe runs ahead chasing a leaf that was blowing from her in the wind. I chase happily after her.

She catches the leaf and her eyes shine happily. "Catching a leaf is good luck!" She exclaims.

I frown "It is?"

She shrugs. "It is for me." I decide then that it is for me too.

She flops onto the floor. Her knees sink into the grass, which is partially damp. "You’re going to get dirty and wet knees." I point out.

"What?" She mocks "Scared of a little water?"

I sigh and flop into the grass beside her. Mommas going to be cross. She doesn’t like when I mess up my clothes. Phoebe’s eyes shine playfully and I'm not sure I care anymore. She twirls her hand through the leaves and I watch as the water droplets catch the light. Light shines off the water in many colours. It looks like she dipped her hand in a rainbow and pulled out a handful of colours.

Then she’s facing me and her blue eyes sparkle with mischief. "Come on!" She takes my hand and pulls me up, only to fall on top of me. "You’re heavy!" She exclaims.

I feel myself blush furiously, my cheeks burning. Then she does something I never expected she would.

She momentarily puts her lips to mine. Then she whispers in my ear distastefully "Now I have boy cooties." She leans back and I feel my face burning madly. 

Then Emma appears and interrupts. I'm not sure whether to be grateful or not. I don’t hear the words Emma says, I’m too wrapped up in my own thoughts. Phoebes face falls at the sight of Emma. "What’s wrong?" I ask. She fiddles nervously with her hair. I quickly add "If you don’t want to tell me it’s okay."

Phoebe nods and says "My dad left." 

"My dad left too." I say, because he did.

Phoebe continues "I had to pick between him and Emma." She focuses on me. "It’s like picking between your dad or your mom. Who would you pick?"

My response is immediate "Momma, because my momma always looks after me and my dad didn't."

Phoebe starts to cry "My sister always looked after me, and my dad didn't either. But I picked him anyway. I was so horrible to her. I'm a horrible person." I just sit there with my arms around her as she cries into my shoulder. She’s not a horrible person. One thing Phoebe could never be is horrible.

The next few weeks are boring. Momma and I are over Mike's house all of the time now. We even moved all our stuff in there. Momma said we're going to be living here for a while. Phoebe doesn't live here anymore, neither does Emma. Momma said we couldn't see them but I don't understand why. I wish they lived here, like they did before. I miss Phoebe. I even miss Emma.

I sigh and go downstairs to hunt for a cookie. However momma is in there and I overhear a whispered conversation.

Momma blurts out "We need to get Emma and Phoebe back; it’s not right without them."

Mike sighs deeply. "Yeah, but there’s no way that’s ever going to happen. Unless you have any ideas?

I walk in and see the grin on Mommas face "I have a few..."

Mike sighs but he's smiling "About Emma and Phoebe."

Momma turns to me for a moment. "What’s up?"

"Can I have a cookie?" I ask shyly.

Momma nods and reaches up to the cupboard. "Here," She says, handing me a cookie. "Now go up to your room." Instead of listening to my momma I wait outside and listen in. Momma continues to speak to Mike. "I have a plan."

Mike murmurs under his breath "Heaven help me."

I walk up to my room not understanding much of what had been said. I can't help but think it’s important somehow. I shrug the feeling away and munch on my cookie... Yummy! After my delicious cookie momma comes up and tells me “We’re going out.”

I scrunch up my nose. I don’t want to go anywhere. Pouting I ask “Where, why, when?”

Momma laughs. “I’m just going to some appointments. Sorry, nothing interesting.”

I resign myself to my fate and follow her downstairs to the car. The car ride is long and boring. Our destination is a stuffy office has a few toys but there all broken or for babies. When our appointment comes around it’s late and Momma is impatiently tapping her foot.

Someone from across the room shoots her a look but she ignores there glare. When we finally get into the appointment it is with a man with huge glasses and a stripey tie. He look at us with disinterest. He speaks with a machine like drone “So you’re here about…” He looks through his papers and stutters, stalling for time while he searches.

Momma interrupts “We’re here about the process of adopting a child.”