All I Ever Wanted

Chapter Nineteen

I last exactly three seconds before I cave. What can I say? I'm curious and nosey. Me and Phoebe glance at each other before following Mike towards his girlfriend's apartment. We stand around the corner listening to what's being said.

The door creaks open and awkward silence follows. I can only imagine the expression on their faces, I almost laugh at the thought. They simultaneously start to speak. Both sound nervous and immediately stop when they realise the other is talking.

"You first." Mike says quickly, probably hoping she'll make this easy. Apparently he has no such luck.

"What are you doing here?" She demands, sounding nervous but surer of herself.

"Um, bringing you flowers?" He says. His voice rises a few octaves at the end making it sound like a question.

"May I ask why?" The lady asks.

A pause. "No." Mike orders with a tone of finality. "Please let me in, we need to talk."

I wince at his use of the dreaded 'we need to talk'. Somehow that sentence has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done. It's the line that no one wants to hear.

The lady's response is swift and final. "No." Then I realise why she's so familiar to me. The night my mother left me in the car park. She's the lady who helped me. But I only remember one thing she said to me. Call social services. It repeats over and over like a broken record in my head.

I take Phoebes hand and drag her away. I quietly walk until were far enough away to talk without being heard. "What is it Emma?" Phoebe worriedly questions me.

"When I hurt my leg a lady stopped and helped me. She knows some of what happened and she want to call social services. Mikes girlfriend is the lady who helped me. If she sees and recognises me we'll end up in a care home, and if that happens it is very unlikely we'll see each other again." I explain.

Phoebe looks horrified. "So what do we do?"

"Nothing. Just don't let her see us." I answer.

Phoebe lean in and hugs me. It doesn't take a genius to know she's scared. Some people might ask if it's slightly weird, the way I make sure we're never split up. Lots of people hate their siblings, I guess I'm not one of them. I'm very protective over Phoebe because I never had anyone there for me. I have grandmother but she doesn't know what going on, so it's not the same. I want Phoebe to have someone to rely on. It's the least she deserves. I release her and ruffle her curls. Then we walk back to the car.

The next fifteen minutes are undeniably the most boring of my whole life. Luckily I'm a fairly patient person but the same can't be said for Lauren. I also get the distinct impression that she doesn't like Mike very much. "Where is that moron? How long does it take?" I think these questions are rhetorical so I don't answer. However if she was expecting an answer I would have bitten her head off. It takes as long as it takes, and it's not like he's been in their for hours.

When Mike comes I breathe a sigh of relief. I can't stand Lauren for another second. He opens the door to be bombarded with questions from Phoebe and Lauren. When they realise they're not getting any answers the noise dies down.

Seizing my opportunity I ask "What happened?"

Mike avoids eye contact and answers "It went okay."

I narrow my eyes. He's not telling us something but I don't push it. If he says it went okay I believe him. Who am I to tell him he's lying?

The car reaches the house and we all jump out. Lauren ignores Mike and waves to Phoebe and I before disappearing into her own house. I frown in her direction and ask "What's her problem?"

Mike shrugs. "Don't ask me."

We walk up to the house and unlock the door. I liked today. Today drama was centred around someone other than me for a change.

Phoebe and I collapse onto the bed and talk until we can no longer keep our eyes open. Then we drift off into unconsciousness.

My dreams are strange that night. I'm in a jungle or forest and I'm running. I'm running away from a black panther, its huge so much bigger than it should be. Behind the panther is a petite tiger, it's following the panther but not hunting it. I feel myself running barefooted through bushes and plants. My feet pound on soft soil. I hear a thrumming like a drum beat that may be my racing heart. I'm so scared. I can't let this panther get me!

Then I see it, a small lake in the distance. The panther is far behind me and I dart into the lake. A gazelle drinks daintily from the waters. It's breathtakingly beautiful. It's tranquil scenery is littered only with the sound of soft chirping birds. I'm safe here. No one can hurt me.

Then a roar interrupts the peacefulness. The gazelle turns its head towards the roar to see it came from the black panther that was chasing me earlier, the tiger is nowhere to be seen. I warn the gazelle to run. I shout and yell but the gazelle just steps forward trustingly. The two disappear into the wilderness.

I panic and now I'm running again except this time I'm running towards the danger, towards the panther. I'm running and I can't find it but somehow I know. It plays like a memory in my mind. I see the gazelle clamped in the jaws of the black panther. She's alive but not struggling. She seems unaware of any pain. Then the panther ducks into a warm cosy den. However the feeling of dread in all around.

And still I'm running, searching. I know I will never find it. Just as I will never stop looking.

The images continue to play. The gazelle is on the floor with puncture wounds in its side. The blood oozes from the holes and the gazelle is becoming weaker. The tiger and panther guard the gazelle but the damage that will kill her has already been done. The tiger curls around the dying gazelle and their eyes drift closed. The only difference is, the gazelle will never open them again.

I'm running still running towards them. I might still be able to save her. I feel a thudding and know she is not yet dead. But when the thudding fades I know. There is no chance to save her. The dread overwhelms me.

I sit up in bed suddenly, my heart pulsing quickly with adrenalin. I'm frozen with fear. Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream. I chant inside my head. Then how come it feels so real? I lie down on Phoebes bed next to her sleeping figure. The second time I fall asleep I have no nightmare.