Life Long Letters - a Matthew Espinosa Fanfiction

Chapter 24

He looked at me for a while.

“You really wanna know?” he asked and looked back over to the TV. I mumbled a ‘yes’.

“Belle and I had a pretty complicated relationship. I’ve known her my entire life, but we started dating freshman year.” He begun, still watching the TV. “Then Magcon started. We barely saw each other anymore. I spend hours, and hours and hours, waiting for her to call me back. But she never did.” I could see how he started to get emotional about this, but I needed to know. “So I moved on. I met a girl on the 10th Magcon event. We were never serious, just went on a couple of dates.” He said and I was left confused.

“So you just left Belle?” I asked. He ignored the question and continued.

“On our second date, Belle showed up. It looked like she already knew what was up between me and this other girl. Someone had told her and after that, she never forgave me.” He said with a shaky voice. I was quiet for a while.

“So you basically cheated on her?” I said and could feel the anger building up inside. I moved a few steps away from Matt.

“Listen, Y/N, I need you to know something.” He said as I stood up from his bed. He sat up and looked up at me begging. “What I did to Belle, was the biggest mistake of my life. I didn’t only lose my girlfriend, but I lost my best friend.” He said and a tear came down his cheek. “After seeing what I did to Belle, after seeing how crushed she was… I could never do that again. Not to her, not to you, not to anyone.” He explained but I had a hard time believing him.

“You know what Matt?” I said and tears came down my cheek. “I believe in second chances… but when it comes to cheating? You have ONE girlfriend. You have ONE person to say FOUR small little words to. That’s all it takes. You just had to tell Belle, “We need to break-up.” And then it would have been okay. Then maybe, just maybe, Belle would have given you a second chance. But now? I don’t blame her for hating you.” I said and angrily and turned around towards the door.

“Y/N…” he whispered and I could hear how sad he was, even though the movie was still going in the background. I turned around and took one last look at him.

“You know what? I don’t know what’s worse… You cheating on Belle, or you lying to me about it.” And with that sentence said, I turned around again and walked out the door.

As I was lying in my own bed, confused about whether I was angry, disappointed or sad, I started thinking. I know what he did to Belle was something unforgiveable, but then again, he had Belle for that. I love Matt. I really do. And it’s really heartbreaking, knowing he could do this to me. The sweet little innocent Matthew, who took me on a date and ran with me in the pouring rain… Would I ever look at him the same way?

The next morning, I met up with Mahogany. I wouldn’t let yesterday’s drama come between the fact that I need pants. Because I really did need them.

We went to this place called the Lenox mall. It was pretty big, but Mahogany knew how to find her way around here. She took me to all kinds of crazy stores, trying on hats and weird looking glasses. Then she took me to one of her favorite shops, where I found a pair of nice fitting jeans. After buying them, we walked to a frozen yoghurt bar.

“So… What’s going on between you and Matt?” she asked carefully and sat down by a table.

“What do you mean?” I asked, unknowing how much and what she knew.

“We kinda heard your catfight in his room last night. And not in a good way, that is.” She joked but quickly got back to being serious. I just looked away, so she wouldn’t see the tears glancing in my eyes. “He told you about Belle… didn’t he?” she asked slowly. I nodded and shrugged my shoulders.

“I just don’t know what I think about him anymore.” I said and took a spoon full of yoghurt and put it in my mouth.

“Listen… I think you need to know something very important that he probably didn’t include yesterday... After Belle saw the slut and Matt together, Belle got really really upset and just angry.” She said.

“I know, Matt told me about that Mahogany.” I said, thinking back to our conversation yesterday.

“Let me finish.” She said begging and continued, “Belle wasn’t the only one who got sad. Like, sure, she got sad and all of that, but not the same way as Matt. He got like really super depressed, Y/N.” Mahogany said seriously and looked me right in the eyes.

“What do you mean depressed?” I asked, not really knowing how I felt.

“After losing Belle... He almost killed himself.” She said and I could feel my heart drop to the bottom of my feet.