Life Long Letters - a Matthew Espinosa Fanfiction

Chapter 27

“Hello Matthew.” The doctor said as he walked inside the small room. I was sitting next to him in a chair, holding his hand. “How are you feeling?” he asked and stopped at the end of the bed.

“Much better, doc.” He said and nodded.

“I’m just going to go right into what I came to say,” the doctor said. “You are suffering from a type of anxiety and depression, which is the cause to your breakdowns.” He said and I could see how Matt got stiff.

“Wha-What do you mean? Is it curable? “he stumbled and sat up straight in his bed.

“Yes it is. But Matt, you’re lucky to have this one.” The doctor said and nodded at me. I looked up at him questionably. “If it weren’t for her, then you wouldn’t be here right now.” I could see in the back of my eye that Matt was looking at me.

“I sure am the luckiest.” He said and I felt horrible. I felt horrible, because it’s my fault he even took those pills to start with. It’s my fault he’s in that hospital bed. I breathed out heavily and then smiled at Matt.

Before leaving the room, the doctor told Matt he needed to go on extra therapy sessions, group therapy and take his medication every day.

“Come here.” Matt said as I stood and looked out the window. I turned around and walked over to him. He had his eyes shut, and even though I knew he was fine, he looked like he was suffering. I lay down next to him in the small bed. I buried my face in the side of his chest. I listened to his heart beat with uneven beats. He stroke my hair gently. After a while, we both fell asleep together.

I woke up in the middle of the night. I gently removed Matt’s arm from my waist before sneaking out from his room. I closed the door carefully behind me and walked the long hallway down to the cafeteria. The same cafeteria I was at when Ryan passed away. The same table, the same chair. The same people who was working. The same janitor.

I fished up a few dollars from the back of my jeans, which I bought with Mahogany. I bought a coffee and then sat down.

As I sat there, I saw Nash and the other boys in the other end of the cafeteria. They were walking towards me and when they reached me, they looked concerned.

“How’s he doing?” Cameron asked worried.

“He’s awake.” I said and looked around at all their faces. “He’s gonna be on some medication for a while and he’ll have to go group therapy and more of his normal therapy sessions.” I said and stood up to give them all a hug.

“What do you mean medication?” Hayes asked as I gave him a hug.

“You guys know about the other suicide right?” I asked and they all nodded. “Well, he’s had some sort of anxiety/depression ever since.” I said and hugged Taylor a little extra long just because I didn’t want them to see the tear in my eye.

We’d moved from the cafeteria to the waiting room and were mostly just looking at each other.

“You should get to the hotel and get some rest, Y/N.” Gilinsky said. Maybe it was for the best. I could really use some sleep to be honest. “I’ll give you a ride.” He said and we walked out of the hospital together.

When we got to the hotel, there weren’t just fans there. Men and women with cameras were gathered in a big group, some were sitting, and some were standing.

“Fuck.” Gilinsky said and took a left turn away from the hotel. “We’ll take the backdoor instead.”