TROUBLED || thirteen reasons why

016.

Tristan and Justin don't say anything as they sit on the boy's bed. Tristan's sobs have turned into dry heaves, and Justin moves off the bed so that he is crouched in front of his little sister. He grabs her hands and his glossy eyes won't meet her's, almost as if he is disgusted to even see her.

"Tristan," He says after a long sigh, "please tell me what happened. I can't help you if you don't."

His voice is thick with pain and Tristan squeezes her eyes shut at the thought of hurting Justin. "I'm so sorry."

"What are you sorry for? Tris, please."

"I... I can't, Justin!" She cries and covers her face with her hands. Justin takes her hands away from her face and when she looks at him, her heart shatters at the sadness on his face.

"Why not? Why can't you tell me?" He is crying at this point. Tristan has only seen him cry twice in her life and it feels even worse that she is the one who made him cry this time.

"Because he told me I couldn't..." Tristan admits, her voice so quiet she hopes he didn't hear her.

"Who?"

The girl looks at him and his eyes tell her that he already knows, but he wants her to say his name, "Bryce."

"Fuck." He drops to the floor and covers his mouth, muffling the sobs.

Tristan breaks down again, tears falling from her eyes as she holds herself tight, "I only did it so that you'd be safe."

"What are you talking about, Tristan? Why would-" He can't finish his sentence as a cry gets stuck in his throat. Justin's eyes are bloodshot and his forehead creases with confusion.

"Bryce said that the only way we could stay at his house was if I did something for him," She whispers, not believing that she is actually telling him this. Tristan closes her eyes from the pain the memories bring her, "I was in eighth grade, so I didn't know what he was talking about. I just wanted us to be safe, and you felt safe there so... And then after that, he would threaten to kick us out if I didn't do something for him, and- God, Justin, I didn't want to! But you're the only thing I care about and I wanted you to be okay so I let him do those things to me and-"

Tristan is gasping for air, but she feels like no oxygen is coming in. Her body shakes with emotion and she wants nothing more than for the pain to go away. She can't look at Justin, but she knows that he is on the floor of his room, hiccuping from his cries. Tristan can't help but feel guilty for telling him, this is her fault. All of this.

"Tristan." His voice is shaky and when she looks at him, his lip is quivering and he is about to fall apart. He jumps up off the floor and pulls his sister into his arms. He wraps his hands around Tristan's body and comfortably rocks them back and forth as they both continue to cry in a disheveled mess. He repeatedly whispers, "I'm so sorry."

Tristan's eyes get heavy as they sit in silence, her body drained from the amount of stress she's been under. She sniffles one last time before she close my eyes from exhaustion.

When Tristan wakes up alone in her brother's room. She blinks her dry eyes as she remembers what happened before she went unconscious. Justin had wrapped her in a blanket and tightly tucked her into his bed, but she pulls the blanket away from her when she hears Justin yelling in the living room. She slowly creeps to the door, cracking it open. Tristan leans her head against the wood to hear better.

"So whatever Hannah thought she saw, she lied about it on those tapes becasue she's a crazy fucking drama queen who killed herself for attention." Justin spits at whoever is in there with him. "I'm sorry, man, I know she was your friend."

"And you were her first kiss." The other voice says. Tristan squeezes her eyes shut, trying to figure out who's voice it belongs to.

"So she said. Whatever happened, whatever Hannah thinks happened, How does that help Tris? Or Jess now? What they need, what we all need... is for this to be fucking done with."

"How can she be done with this, if she doesn't know what it is?" The voice asks, clearly talking about Jessica. "You can get me suspended. You can ruin my fucking life if you want to. It won't change what you did. And sooner or later, people are going to find out."

"People are not going to find out." The hidden girl can hear the seriousness in Justin's voice.

"Why are you protecting Bryce? What does he have on you?" The person says, Tristan pushes the door open more to try to take a peak of the guy talking.

"I'm not protecting Bryce, you little fuck! God, I'm protecting Jessica! My sister! I care more about them than I do about Hannah, than I do about you, than I do about anybody else. Alright? So just get the fuck out of here!" Justin's words make Tristan come out of her hiding. She steps out of his room and into the kitchen, where she peeks into the living room and spots Justin and Clay. Seeing Clay, her heart beat quickens and she can feel it throbbing in her throat.

"I want my bike." Clay tells Justin, resulting in Justin laughing.

"Your bike? Seriously?"

"Yes, you fucking asshole. I want my bike."

Justin throws his food onto the coffee table and looks up to Clay, "It's out back, behind the building. Knock yourself out."

Clay stares at him for another moment before turning and exposing Tristan from her spot in the kitchen. She lets out a shaky breath as he looks at her, but he doesn't say anything as he passes by the girl. Once the door slams, Tristan quietly step into the living room where Justin is looking off into the distance, clearly thinking about something else.

"Why was Clay here?" She speak for the first time in probably hours. Her voice sounds raw from the amount of pain she's been through, and Justin snaps out of his trance and focuses on her.

"It was nothing, he wanted his stupid bike back." He says, trying to hide his emotions with a smile, but failing miserably. Tristan is about to question him again, but he speaks up first and moves over on the couch, "Come here, we don't need to worry about him."

Tristan looks to her feet as she steps to the couch and sits next to her brother. She sighs when she feels Justin's hand wrap around her shoulder and pull her to him, holding her close. He kisses her head before leaning into her, "I'm not going to let anything happen to you again, Tris. I'm so sorry."

___

wow so Tris finally reveals her secret, what do y'all think?

Only a few more chapters left of s1

like and comment for this girly please:)