Games // a.i

Six.

Callie;

I finished in the bathroom and unlocked the door quietly, unsure of wether Ashton was sleeping or not.

"You took your time" Ashton said as I was crawling into bed.

"Sorry" I mumbled.

"You don't have to be sorry," he laughed quietly, "I was just saying you took a while"

"Oh okay" I mumbled.

"What's your biggest fear?" he broke the silence after a few moments of it.

"What?" I don't understand why he's asking questions.

"I want to know your biggest fear" he stated.

"Why?" I heard him shuffle in his bed before answering.

"I want to know more about you" I could sense a smile in his voice.

Why would he want to know about me? There's nothing exciting about me, even if there was it's probably not something that would concern someone like Ashton.

It wouldn't hurt to tell him this would it? How could he use that to hurt me, well in many ways I guess, but I don't know.

I want to know how to trust people, but I don't think I can do that in one night, I want to tell Ashton. I want to know what his view on it is, how he'd deal with it.

But I can't, I feel as if I should but I can't.

"Maybe later" I replied shortly.

That was one of many disliked qualities about myself, I can't tell people things. It's as if the words physically can't come out of my mouth.

The feeling was overwhelming me now, I wanted to tell Ashton.

And not because I trust him, but because he's so different. I know I've said that a lot but I can't get my mind around how different his view is too mine.

"Not being good enough" I blurted out.

I wanted to know if it was irrational, others such as my mum and my therapist had told me it was but they are just the same. Ashton was different, and even though I know little about him I know from his speech earlier that he would tell me.

"Why would you think that?" He sat up and the lamp beside his bed illuminated his face.

"I don't know" I mumbled, not wanting to get in too a deep conversation with him about the reasons.

"I don't understand why you would be scared about that though, it's one of those irrational fears. It's not going to hurt you yet you are still scared of it." He frowned slightly as he spoke about it.

I'm regretting telling him, he hasn't said anything like what he said earlier. I don't know why I told him, maybe it's because mums been extra naggy about the pills this week.

Maybe they're working. I don't want them to work. I don't think I want to feel like I can trust people.

Look what's happening now; I told Ashton and now he just thinks I'm stupid.

"You shouldn't be afraid of it, no one should be. Today the majority of people are afraid they aren't good enough. But most of that majority don't let it them effect it, they put themselves out there and then they realise that really, if someone doesn't think you're good enough there's no point in having them in your life" he finished his little speech the same way he finished his last, with a little nod

That's what I was waiting for.

"How do you come up with those things?" I thought aloud.

"What do you mean?" he laughed again and lay back down.

"Well you know, you said that just know and you said earlier about telling people their worth."

"I'm just deep I guess" his voice was quieter now, I guessed he was starting to fall asleep so I whispered a goodnight to him and rolled over and cuddled deeper in my duvet.

~

So basically Callie's pills are making her open up, she doesn't like or trust Ashton yet but she likes the way he thinks so she's starting to tell him things