What It Feels Like (a boyxboy)

Okay

Sam

   I hate hospitals with every fiber of my being. But my Dad told me to always remember that for as much pain that happens in a hospital, there's ten times more the help and care. Without hospitals, there'd be no space for a team of people to gather with one goal of keeping everyone alive and healthy, no matter who they are.

   So that's the first thing I think when I finally wake up in the waiting room. There's a few missed calls from Leo. I feel embarrassed by the scene they witnessed.

   The second thing I think about is mom.

   What even the hell happened? I didn't even know this could happen again.

   I walk up to the desk and ask for information on my mother.

"Room 133," the receptionist says.

The door is cracked open when I get there and I'm lucky enough to see the doctor right there in the room.

"Oh hey Sam," she says brightly. "I was just about come get you. I wasn't sure if you were still here."

"Yeah I've just been in the waiting room," I shrug.

Doctor Allen looks at me with her sympathetic eyes, "Well the good news is your mom is going to be okay. She should be waking up soon."

"Okay," I say. It feels exactly the same as last time.

"But, as you know," Dr. Allen sighs, "there's going to be a long road ahead of us."

  "I know," I say, looking down.

"We will have to keep her here for a few days, which is policy. But she'll have to admitted to a rehabilitation center as soon as possible."

"Yeah."

"Is there any other family around that can take care of the process?"

"Yes," I say. "My aunt and uncle."

"If you could give them a call, give us their information, we can take all this pressure off of you." She gives her sympathetic smile again. She's probably had this conversation with so many people.

   After Dr. Allen leaves, I stare at her as if she's only sleeping after a long day. I'm scared and worried, but disappointment and resentment rage inside of me.
  

   I walk down the hallway, tears form in my eyes. My frustration is setting in, and I am dreading calling my Aunt. I know she'll be angry.

  It's 6:00 AM. I slept for a few hours in the waiting room, but I'm exhausted. I lean against the wall and dial my Aunts number.  Part of me wishes she won't answer.

"Hello? Sam?"

"Hey," I sigh.

"Is everything alright?" She sounds annoyed but I know she's truly concerned.

"No. I'm at the hospital. Mom overdosed again."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I can hear her frustration clearly through the phone.

"She's fine," I say. "It happened around 11 last night. I was too shocked to call."

"It's okay. I'll be there soon. Just don't worry too much, it's gonna be fine."

"Okay."

"Bye, I love you. See you soon."

I was shocked by her use of the "I love you" line considering she barely says that to me, but it's reassuring.

I head back to the waiting room, hoping to sit and calm down before my Aunt gets here. I will be relieved once she gets here and I'll have someone to take over.

But my relief quickly turns to anxiety when I see an unexpected face sitting in the corner.

I start to turn around, but it's too late.

  "Sam," Leo calls out gently. He walks toward me, his mom following behind him. What the hell? Why are they here?

"Hey," I say, still very surprised.

   I start to ask why the hell they are here, but Leo begins to speak before I can. "Are you okay?"

"Um, I guess- what are you doing here- I mean I didn't expect..." My voice trails off.

Leo's mom steps forward, her comforting presence engulfing me. "We didn't know if anyone was here with you, we wanted to check up," she says softly.

"My aunt is on her way," I answer. "Thank you."

"Of course, sweetie. You're welcome to stay with us tonight. We can take you back with us." She steps back and looks at me like she's genuinely worried about my wellbeing.

"Okay," I respond hesitantly. I feel bad saying no to them.

There's a moment of silence,"My mom is okay," I blurt out.

"That's good," Leo says. "I'm sorry.

"It will be alright," I sigh. "I should stay until my Aunt comes."

"Okay," Mrs. Stormbrooke says. "We can take you home with us whenever you're ready."

I nod, then make my way to one of the waiting room chairs. I'm so exhausted. Leo sits down beside me and Mrs. Stormbrooke sits on his other side.  They don't ask me more about my mom, which I'm grateful for. But my thoughts find their way into that whirlpool of worries.

  I can feel tears filling up my eyes and I try to hold them back, but one single tear escapes.

I'm pulled out of my daze when I feel Leo touch my arm.  He looks at me sympathetically, clearly not knowing whether he should ask if I'm okay or not. And then his hand is on top of mine, resting on the armrest. He removes it after a second, but if I wasn't in this stressful situation that gesture would have probably given me a boner.

  About ten minutes pass until I finally see my Aunt enter through the doors. She rushes over to me, and gives me a quick hug. "What room is she in?"

"I'll show you," I say standing up. I turn to the Stormbrooke's, "I'll be right back."

My Aunt stays in the room with my mom, and explains my uncle will be there soon too. She waits for the doctor and explain that I can leave if I need to.

"Okay, my neighbors are here and they said they'd take me home. Just let me know if there's any updates."

"Alright Sam, we'll see you soon," she says with empathy.

As I leave the room I look back to see her staring at my mom and shaking her head.