*Namjoon*
"Really? Because it feels like I'm your maid. You don't eat with me. You don't ask about my day. We don't even sleep together because you spend all your time in your studio. It's been weeks. Am I not good enough for you anymore? Because I'm not an idol. Because I'm not pretty. I've always wondered why you chose me, I guess I was just convenient at the moment." I could hear Y/N sobbing. I couldn't turn around, I was too ashamed.
"I was wrong to think you would love me more than music. I was wrong to think you would love me at all." I heard the door of bedroom slammed.
Tears began rolling down my eyes. How could I do this to her? Why didn't I notice how upset she's been this whole time? She sounded so angry and upset. I could only sit there and listen. The fact that she thinks I don't love her means that I'm failing at my job. I'm working hard for us, at least that's what I thought, maybe I was too selfish. I need to let her know.
I turned off my computer for what seemed to be like the first time in forever. I walked to our bedroom door, it was unlocked. The lights were off, she hated total darkness, so she must be really upset. The moonlight outlining her tiny figure under the blanket. She likes to hold a blanket at night, even if it's 100 degrees outside.
She didn't move when I laid my weight on the bed. I took the blanket off of her, and put my arms around her, her back facing me. Her hair neatly hugged her face and neck.
"Y/N," I began. She didn't answer me, instead, she breathe in and held it. "Y/N, don't call me RM ever again."
"That's what you're worried about?" she asked after a while, pushing me away with her shoulders.
"Call me Namjoon, or Joonie, or baby, or love, or clumsy-head, or pabo. Don't call me RM. Please. That's meant for strangers. But not you." I held her tighter, letting out my tears. She turned to face me, looking up at my face, I tried to wipe my tears but she beat me to it.
"Why are you crying, pabo?" she asked, rubbing my cheeks. I held her hand on my face and kissed it. Her eyes were red and swollen. She must have been crying every night. My heart broke at the sight. I haven't looked at her properly for a month. She seemed thinner and I fear she would break if I held her too tightly. But I can't let her go right now.
"I was wrong. I was trying so hard to impress you with the only thing I'm good at, writing songs. I didn't realized that I was hurting you. I'm so sorry." I pulled her head closer to my chest. She wrapped her arms around me. "I started writing songs for people to hear my story, to understand my life. Y/N, you're my life now. You're my moon and star. You shine on me when I'm at my weakest. You always show me the way when I'm stuck. Don't ever think music is more important than you. Okay?" I felt her lips on mine. There was a taste of desire and a yearning. I wrapped my hands around her waist.
"Okay. But that doesn't mean I forgive you." she said after pulling away.
"I wouldn't dream of it, that's what I love about you."
"You need to start telling me things. We need to communicate. Was that the only reason for why you locked yourself up in your studio?"
"Well, kind of."
"Then what?"
"Well... "
"Namjoon."
"Okay, okay. I'm writing a few extra songs so that I could take some time off."
"And why would you need to take some times off? Are you cheating on me?"
"Quite the opposite actually. It's because we're going to get married." I declared. She pushed herself back to look at me with her confused face. I giggled at her reaction.
"Excuse me? RM-ssi, just because you're an international superstar, does not mean you can skip the whole proposal process." I laughed.
"Y/N, of course I'll propose. You know I want to start a family. BTS is at a level now when we're stable enough to take the extra step. And besides, I want to beat Jin hyung." She rolled her eyes and laughed. "I love you, Y/N."
"I love you too." she answered. I leaned in to give her a kiss, which I haven't done in awhile. We both craved it. Our mouths melting into each other. We held each other for the rest of the night. She eventually fell asleep. Through the lights above us, I could see her dark circles, the beauty mark near her right cheek.
I miss holding her. I'm never letting go again.
YOU ARE READING
Love Maze (Kim Namjoon x Reader)
Fanfiction"Namjoon, what am I to you?" your voice came out weaker than you wanted but you stood your ground. "What? Y/N, you're being ridiculous. You're my girlfriend, of course." he chuckled. He had already turned back around to face the computer. At least h...
