When the World Shatters

Chapter 11

Why does everything have to be so frustrating! Like the moment I try to look into my brothers death I get nothing! Absolutely nothing! I talked to people who knew him, I even went to the extent of trying to contact anyone. I mean anyone who he was associated with, but no one knew a thing.

I asked the exact same thing to every person, I asked them if they knew my brother well and if they knew anything about his death. They all just told me that they knew of his death and that the only thing they knew is that he committed suicide.

Nobody I talked to really knew my brother they were all just acquaintances who have spoken to him once or twice. No one really knew him.

Gideon never spoke of having friends, never brought friends over and I have never been introduced to people he knew or hung out with. But he must of has one friend, right? He had to, or he had to have hung out with someone.

He used to leave the house on the weekends saying that he has a friends house he was going to. So unless he was lying he had to have had a friend.

But the thing is he could have been lying, and that would mean he went out somewhere. So now I just have to find out where.

After awhile of just sitting and staring up up at the ceiling I get up and see the paper with the boys, what was his name again? Oh right. Cole's phone number on the floor. Should I text him?

You know what why not? I have like zero friends and I have plenty of free time so maybe I can make new a friend.

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Talia/Cole

Hey, it's Talia

After waiting for a couple of minutes he replied,

Hey

again sorry about earlier

It's fine, no worries

I was wondering if you wanted to grab a bite somewhere?

Just as a sorry ;)

You do know that we both bumped into each other, right?

But yeah sure :)

K cool, are you free tomorrow at 12?

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After chatting for awhile trying to find a place to meet up, we decided on the cafe just a block away from the park.

And after all the work i've been doing to learn more about my brothers death I really needed a break. As well as I haven't even been eating as often as I used to do. I have practically been only eating one meal a day for the past week. Sometimes having a snack once during the day. I've lost a lot of weight and it's not very healthy for me. I should at least eat 2 meals a day.

And after all I have only been eating small takeout meals, I haven't cooked for more than 2 weeks. My dad used to cook every other day, while my brother and I alternated between us on the days my dad didn't cook.

My dad has always been the best cook out of the three of us. But after Gideon died he hadn't cooked at all. It was something he loved to do whether it was just for fun or to just have something edible to eat. His cooking was like a highlight of my day. His food just made me happier, and made me more me.

While thinking I was just sat on my bed staring at the ceiling. I was actually kind of bored, which is new as the past week or two I have been busy with either thinking of my brother, searching for evidence of his suicide or even just thinking about random things. I haven't really been aware of the world since my brother has passed, I space out a lot, I stay in one space for a long period of time, I think and process way more than I used to.

I get off my bed and walk to my white desk, it was mostly bare except the small pencil holder with school supplies inside. All my school work was in my backpack from my sophomore year and I haven't bothered to clean it out yet. Really the items inside are just pieces of paper, pencils, erasers etc.

At school i'd been the kid who sat at the back of the class but still worked, the kid who always wore comfortable clothes like a hoodie and sneakers, the kid who didn't sit in the cafeteria at lunch but sat in the hallways, the kid who got good marks but never exceedingly good. Nothing lower than a 65% and nothing higher than a 90%. I studied but not to the point of always getting a good grade. As long as I passed it was fine.

Education was important to me but for college I haven't been really sure as where I wanted to attend and what I really wanted to do. I love to write and read but can I really be an author, I love to take photos but can I become a professional photographer? Questions like these are the questions I always ask myself. I am a really indecisive person so choosing a career is hard.

Anyways enough with the school talk. I have had enough stress from going to school and thinking about it wasn't much better. Especially as it was summer which means it is my break away from school.

It was 6:35 at the moment, which means I should grab dinner as I haven't eaten anything all day.

As I walk to my dads room to ask him what he wants to eat, I just decide to go to McDonalds because I feel like being unhealthy today. I walk up to his rooms door and knock, "dad?"

He opens the door and my brown eyes meet his blue ones as he says, "Yes, sweetie?"

"Do you want anything to eat? I am going to grab myself some food now."

He frowns thinking, "It's okay, i'm not hungry"

I nod and walk out. Grabbing my hoodie from the closet, I put it on and start walking to McDonalds. As I walk I take in the peaceful silence.

I embrace it, because silence is sometimes better than sound.

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THANK YOU FOR OVER 100 READS!!!

I am so thankful for everyone who has read this so far and has stayed. I honestly didn't even think that I would get to 40 reads.

And I kind of think that half of the reads are just myself XD

But if someone is actually reading I appreciate you so much. I also might re-edit all my chapters as the first to the ninth chapter aren't as great as my writing in the tenth and this chapter.

Love you all,

Zoe <3