Two Vines Entwined

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It was one week until Christmas. One week. It seemed like everything was going wrong.

My mum was always so passionate about Christmas, and there I was driving in my car with my son in his baby seat behind me, ready to leave for good.

Tell me I’m being harsh on her and I’ll know you would never understand. Every little thing that goes wrong just adds up to the pressure, the pain that is shoved upon my shoulders, which were already struggling from a year ago, when I found Tim in the apartment with another woman.

The thing is, I’m good at controlling my emotions as long as there aren’t too many all at once. I can keep things in my hands and manage them to be stable, but only until everything keeps going wrong. I had felt so much pressure over the past few months, even the year. Jake was becoming a toddler, my parents were making it harder for me by subtly applying more pressure to me, causing me to be overly stressed. Another man had walked into my life who I had managed to fall in love with unknowingly, and to add it all up, I was till heartbroken about my ex from over a year ago. It didn’t seem like it was going to end.

There I was driving down the deserted streets at night, occasionally passing groups of drunk people, probably trying to rid their feelings and memory from a past event.

I had left a text to Ash, knowing that she would read it in the morning when I was already gone. I expected her to show my probably worry parents and the rest of the family. It just explained a few things as to my disappearance – I didn’t want anyone to ring the police and carry out an investigation in looking for me.

Hey Ash,

So the past couple weeks have hit me hard and I just had to escape – I needed fresh air and to be able to think again. Sorry for the inconvenience but don’t take it personally, a lot of things have been happening lately and yes I admit it, I don’t feel too good about them all. I’ll be back next week before Christmas. Make sure my parents don’t freak out along with Lacey.

Hope you understand,

Nora xx

P.S. Now that I’m gone, tell Terry he doesn’t have to sleep on the couch for a while. :)

I was passing the Church, or meeting place, as Ronnie had once told me. I studied it, slowing down before making a last minute decision of pulling over. Jake was in the backseat, completely silent, completely asleep. I needed a moment to myself. I couldn’t take it anymore, but unlike those groups of desperate drunk people, or Tim who would always shout and punch things when he was angry or under pressure, I just sat there. Closing my eyes I began to wonder about all the things that had been pressuring me, going over them one by one in my brain. I rested my arms upon the steering wheel, leaning my head on my crossed forearms. Tears began to well from deep in my shut hazel eyes.

This was what happened. Whenever I was angry or frustrated, I would just cry, as if to say that I was giving up. It had always been like this, yet I hated crying. Hated it. It was the sign of weakness, insecurity and loss of hope.

The hot tears slipped down from my cheek to the car floor, absorbing themselves into the carpeted texture, as if they were never even there.

I woke up to the sound of crying, screaming. It was Jake, but he was okay. I didn’t mean to fall asleep but it was a shock when I woke up and remembered everything that had happened. I was so used to having to get up and out of bed in the middle of the night that I tried shooting out of my car seat. I looked out the windscreen to see my vision all blurry. Heavy drops of water smashed into the glass and I realized it was raining.