Lycan Blood/Editing (#2 book to the Lycan series!)

Chapter 17

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                                Lisa

Winter has forced fall out, showing her cold face. I stand here looking out the living room window, watching the flakes of snowfall gently to the ground. Where I use to once live, we never really got snow.

The days started to blend together as days turn into weeks and weeks into months here. I've grown a bit used to the way things are here, but not much has changed. Everyone here still hates me, but that's something I never really cared too much about. 

I may not care about how the others here feel about me, but it would be nice to have friends here to talk to and hang out with sometimes.

Lucious, Maggie, and the occasional conversations I have with Maggie mate Jax are the only people I talk to. When I want to talk to someone other than them three, I have to call my family. 

I really miss my family, it's been months since I last have seen any of them. Things here are very different, from how things were before. I wouldn't say it's different in a bad way, just really different and I'm still getting used to it.

Like when Christmas was approaching no one here seemed to even notice. I asked Lucious about it and he said that those are human things.

Growing up in the human world and having a human mother, we always celebrated Christmas, but for the first time in my life, there was no Christmas for me this year. I always looked forward to Christmas. Wanting to see all the different decorations. Wanting to feel that happiness you get durn Christmas and see all the smiling faces. But there was none of that here. Everything was the same.

Other than being here with Lucious, I feel that I have no purpose here. Sometimes I find myself wanting to leave and go back to my family, but no matter how much I may want to go back to my family, I could never leave Lucious.

I've never said this out loud, only in my thoughts, but I love Lucious. I've loved him for a while now and now I'm always wondering if he feels the same for me.

He talks to me more now, but he doesn't really show many emotions. I haven't seen him smile since that day in that prison cell. The only time I see emotions from him is when the pull of the mate bond gets the best of us and we end up having a heated make-out session, but he always pulls away before things go a step further.

I don't know why he pulls away every time. Does he not want me in that way? I want him, I want to share myself with him the way I have with no other male. While I give in to the pull of the bond, he seems to fight against it.

I can still see this anger and hatred inside of Lucious, but he hadn't done anything reckless so that's a good thing.

I've been thinking about trying to talk to him about it again, but I know it'll only turn into an argument. Maybe not bringing it up is the best thing to do. Maybe if we don't talk about it at all, it'll help with him letting it go.

I just have to be patient and let him sort things out within himself.

"Lisa," Lucious call my name, causing me to jump. I've been feeling a bit on edge for the last few weeks. The beast within seems a bit irritated and restless for some reason. Unable to sleep, I went out last night in the middle of the night, thinking that maybe I just needed to shift and let the beast out, because I haven't been shifting much. But that didn't seem to help any. I still feel on edge even after doing so.

Maybe it's the pull of the bond growing stronger, wanting us to mark each other to bond our souls.

I look back at him as he walks over, stopping next to me, looking out the window. "Do you want to go out?" He asks.