We Think We Know You [Ran-Dumb Book]

💭 Ash Betrayed [29 August 2018]

People seem to be tired of the Ash Betrayed story. From what I gather, the whole scenario itself has been used so much, it's turned cliché. It could even be its own genre.

But why is it used so much? Because it works. It's easy to use as foundation to get some sort of ending. It's convenient, at the very least.

The point of this entry isn't about Ash Betrayed scenarios. It's about what happens after that.

I did something wrong. I admit it now. I said things, made implications, and other dastardly deeds that is considered sexual harassment. I admit that now.

Do I regret it ending up that way? Yes.

In the end, everything I thought I was a part of was stripped away from me. My title. My trust. My account. My prestige. My ideals. My server. Everything was taken from me.

I fell into a dark pit of despair. I almost died because of it.

But then what happened? What happened after that? That's the point of this entry: I'm going on a journey to change myself for the better.

People want to make me out as a dangerous and bad person. Well, I can't really stop them. They can say virtually whatever they want. And they did a good job at avoiding any sort of slander. Everything was worded so it was implied, but not explicit.

In any case, this is my apology. I apologize for my actions. It may seem like empty words, but I was deeply hurt by what happened afterwards. And I wanted to make up for it by doing work in PWD, but look how that turned out.

It felt like my heart was taken out of me. Who's the heartless one in that situation? The one who took the heart? Or the one who has no heart anymore?

I was given an option to just start over. Clean slate. Become a new person. Discard my old self.

Well...I can't do that. Discarding this would not only discard all the bad things, but the good things too. I did some pretty great things. And yes, it was ruined by one huge bad thing.

And I asked myself: what can I do?

And it clicked. I can become a better person. I can be that good person I am. I don't need to be defined by one bad thing. Because I did good things. No one can deny that. No matter if you try to erase my existence, I'm still here. I still was there. Until I (or Wattpad) deletes me, I will be here.

With that being said, I realize one thing: I may find myself with opposition. Not saying it will happen, but it could happen. I'm forging my path to be better, and people are trying to hinder that?

So I continue on. If they slap me in the face, then fine. Slap me. I will walk down my path anyway. I will become a better person and a better author. That's how it will be. I will do my absolute very best to do so.

Sounds like a lonely journey. But, guess what? It's not. There are my companions. They want to help me. And I'm tired of walking alone. Why walk alone when people want to walk with you? And I realize they are fantastic people. They have many assets I fall short of. I can listen and learn from them.

With that being said, I want to say something Pokémon Wattpad Community before I set out:

1.) I'm not a bad person. With foreshadowing involved, I'm human. I made a very large bad decision. We make bad choices. It's part of life.

2.) I'm not a pedophile. And I said it won't happen to anyone else. So it won't.

3.) I don't want revenge. There's no point in trying to get even with those who tore me down. Sure, I'm mad on how it was done. Sure, I'm mad that it was done. But you have your reasons, I'm sure. And I don't want to destroy something I created. Please, keep my ideals alive. Don't let it crash. Even if you don't trust me, I trust you.

4.) Finally gonna knock out some writing. With so much free time on my hands now, I can start investing on my projects. Fun thing though: I don't update like usual. I plan to keep it all until the very last second, then publish all at once. Why? Not sure

5.) Stick together. I don't want some sort of polarization anywhere. In fact, people tend to band together best when against a common enemy. I'm not a bad guy, but if I have to play the villain, so be it. Just know I'm not a villain.

And that...I believe that's all. I haven't had a decent night's sleep until Saturday (which was awesome). So, it's time for me to move forward on a new path to earn the trust and respect of everyone who doesn't (or never did) have that in me. It'll probably be long, hard, tumultuous, and downright exhausting. Lucky me: I don't have to do it alone.

Better start now.