We Think We Know You [Ran-Dumb Book]

💭 Ash Betrayed (continued) [29 August 2018]

I am finding help. Calling professional and unprofessional alike. I'm working to rebuild myself as a better person. All I'm doing is trying to regain the trust I lost.

As for not listening, I admit I haven't listened. But now I am. And you may have given up on me now, but others haven't. And I'm truly grateful for that.

I've called all the numbers (well all two of them). You say I haven't, but I have.

To prove it, I can tell you that it's the suicide prevention hotline. It also serves for veterans. You get connected to the nearest help center. And I talked to them.

Blocking peoples' accounts? I haven't blocked anyone I've talked to personally ever. I've been blocked, but I haven't blocked anyone like that.

I'm trying to do this. Can't you see that? If you can't, I'll try harder. You will see it. You will see an improvement.

As for being hurt, yes I was hurt. Yes, others were hurt. And I'm trying to fix my problem of doing things without taking into account others' feelings. I'm working on it.

I never wanted to hurt anyone. If you've been hurt, I'll tell you one thing:

I apologize. I do. I'm sorry. But after that, I can't do much except seeking professional help. And that's what I'm doing.

If you say I haven't done anything to try to fix it, I am. I'm seeking professional help. I'm listening.

I don't want anyone to have to go through that sort of despair ever again. And neither does anyone else. So I'm trying to better myself.

That's the plan. If you want to help, thank you. If you've given up, well that's fine too. Just know I haven't given up. I will be a better person. I will talk to people. I will overcome this.

I just hope I'm welcomed back one day with open arms. That's all.

-GT