In Too Deep (Urban) Book 4 | The Sideline Series

Chapter 38

Theodore

It felt like the world was ending today.

Like I couldn't bring back the piece of me that I was standing over.

Big gulps of rain poured down all over the umbrella I held above me and Victoria's head, it dripped down all on to the mahogany casket my Dad was buried inside and accounted for most of the pitiful moods standing around me.

My life had taken a dramatic turn just over this Christmas Break. My Dad came back in town, looking like a different person but acting like the same immature kid he always was. Then suddenly, he was whisked away from me. I don't blame Elijah for doing what he did to him, but I just wish I could have gotten a chance to talk to him again. I wish I could have just asked him why he left me. But I can't now. It's too late for me to do anything besides pray to God that I don't end up like him.

I looked over at Victoria's sorrowful eyes that were looking up at me. I know I said I hated him and I know I said I didn't care about him dying but I did. I still hated him with a passion but there's only so much hate you can have for a person until it turns into pity. I honestly feel bad for him. He never grew up and that's why he's dead and gone now and he wasn't even 50. He never lived his full life and now he's dead and gone.

I just wish I had been nicer to him before he left. He deserved my hurtful words, but now every time I think about him I can't stop thinking about what I said to him. I just feel so guilty about what I said to him. If I could, I'd take back everything I said to him even though it was the hurtful truth.

"You sad?" I whispered, looking away from her.

I'll admit I had a few tears earlier but none right now. I was more or less angry about the whole situation. I was mad about Elijah killing him, Trina kissing him in front of her kids and how he just up and left me for months to feign for myself.

She shrugged her shoulders. "I just feel bad about not going somewhere."

"Granny's funeral?" I whispered, causing her to nod her head.

"I feel like such a terrible person," she whispered as she moved closer to me.

"But you're not. She was buried in Elmhurst Cemetery, right?"

She nodded her had again. "Yeah."

"Well, that's where we at. You tryna go?" I asked, still whispering but this time she shook her head.

"I can't do it and you need to worry about your Dad. Not my problems," She whispered as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I sighed and just laid my head on top of hers as I stared out into the barren cemetery. We stood far off to the side, away from all of our family that I wanted nothing to do with. Most of them were like my Dad, so they're not people I really want anything to do with. They were all dramatic like Trina though. They didn't want anything to do with him while he was alive, but now that he's dead they all want to have sympathy for me and him. I'm just not into that stuff though.

I swear I had aunts, uncles, cousins and some relatives coming up to me today trying to console me but I just wasn't for it. I know they're thinking I'm gonna get broke off some cash since I was his only son but he didn't have anything, he never did. And if he had any money, it should have been going toward paying off his debt but he didn't have that. I guess I'm the only person that put up with him long enough to realize that he didn't have anything, so there's nothing to give out.

"My Grandma wants you to stop by her house," Victoria whispered.

"Which one?"

"Daddy's Mama. Her and Grandpa Lester wanted to see how you were doing, that's all. She just remembers your Dad from when Daddy used to really hang out with him."