Fire on the Horizon

Chapter 14: The Test of a Man

Garrus had to admit he was slightly nervous. He hadn't even had time to move his things from the main battery to the Captain's Cabin. When they got back from Grissom, Garrus stopped by to see Dr. Chakwas. The doors slid open and she turned in her chair. She chuckled a bit and offered him some coffee and a seat.

"Garrus, what's the problem? The crew knows. No one has a problem with it. In fact, most people like the idea and the others don't really care. She needs someone to stay with her. She needs someone to protect her when she can't protect herself. Garrus, she has always thrown herself into the fire. She needs someone to keep her from getting burned."

Garrus took in everything she said. She was right. He had been concerned about the crew. She even made several other points regarding the fact that he was not Alliance military. He wasn't military at all. He was, in all respects, a civilian as far as any military guidelines were concerned. He took a deep breath and called on his own meditation background. There was a technique they were taught to use in the Turian military. It was a sort of meditation to help find the real issue and bring it out. A few seconds later he let out a deep sigh.

Chakwas knew the technique. She had dealt with many turians over the years and had seen others do it. She remained quiet and sipped on her coffee.

"What happens when he gets better Karen? What then. What happens when he gets back to duty, if he is put on the Normandy?" There was no insecurity in his voice. It was just the statement and questions. His voice stayed steady and deep.

"Ahh. I wondered if Alenko had something to do with this. Garrus...." Before she could finish the sentence, he abruptly stood up and began pacing.

"Karen look. What he did to her on Horizon was awful. Everyone has a bad breakup, but this was a lashing out. It was like he wanted her to hurt as bad as he had. I can deal with that too. It's not like I've never had a breakup. It's not like i've never been in a relationship. It's been a long time, but still."

He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, dropping his head back. Karen just watched him. She knew he hadn't been able to get all this out and needed to vent. The closest one to him on the ship, besides Jane, was Liara. To be honest, he hadn't felt comfortable talking to Liara since the Shadow Broker thing. He had tried to talk to Joker, but Joker had never liked Kaidan so there was already this hard viewpoint against the whole thing.

Garrus sighed and continued his vent. "The night of Horizon, well that afternoon, we made a stop at one of the mass relay stations. We were refueling and I decided to step off ship and grab some stuff. I got beers, pizzas, and paid for access to the extranet for one of the games. I showed up at her quarters, didn't mention Kaidan at all, and just let her chill out. It was nice. I had no idea it would lead to all this. I'm not complaining."

He moved back to the seat across from Chakwas and sat back down, taking a sip of the coffee she had prepared for him.

"So what's the problem? You two are happy. You've stood by her. What's changed?"

Garrus took another sip of coffee. He had relaxed more. He was at ease talking with her finally. "I guess somewhere in my head Kaidan wasn't an issue. He wasn't going to be back in her life at all. A former crewmate and boyfriend."

Karen cut in. 'Fiance."

"Pardon?" Garrus took another sip.

"They were engaged. The wedding date was set. Did she not tell you?" Karen wasn't surprised. The only reason she had known about it was because she was the attending doctor on the Normandy after Saren and she had to give her the physical that was required to apply for an Alliance sanctioned wedding.

Garrus nodded and gave her a reaction she didn't expect. "Well, I'm not surprised really. They were together for almost three years. Still though. As bad as the breakup was..anyway. My bigger issue was that he just keeps crawling back to reopen the wound. He sent her this long letter. She got it right before our first night together."

"It must not have meant much. You still had a first night instead of no night at all Garrus."

He nodded. "Look, I told her once I wanted one thing to go right. Even with our bumps in the road, this has still gone pretty okay. We are well on our way to something longer term than I ever thought could be. Now, Kaidan is back. So, what happens? I go down on this trumped up guard duty and stay with her. I get a few weeks of a hint at what it might be like after this fucking war. Then, he gets better. He is sent back to the Normandy. She is around and sees the man that she almost married daily. The emotions may still be there. Then I lose anything that meant something to me."

Karen sat back and took in everything Garrus had said. He said it so calm. No hint of pitiful or feel sorry for me. She had to admire that. What bothered her was the underlying issue.

"Garrus, do you not feel your enough for her? That you can't compete with Kaidan?"

She truly was perplexed. Here sat a man, turian or not, that had been highly decorated in his short years in the turian military. He was an expert shot and rifleman. She had seen his C-Sec records when he first came on the Normandy so many years ago. As much as he talked them down, he was a good cop. In fact, he was excellent. He had spearheaded several task forces while he was with C-Sec including aiding homeless children and displaced families so they wouldn't get caught up in the darker sides of the Citadel. In his spare time he had been a coach for some kids teams. He was even rumored to be a good tipper at the bars and Asari clubs on the Citadel.

In addition to all of that, on Omega he had done good work. Sure, he had gone a darker route to do it, but he did it. He went on to come back and work with Shepard. There was another aspect. Outside of Joker, no one had stood by Shepard come hell or high water the way he had. Karen had even glanced once at his family background. He came from such a good family that he was literally next in line to be Primarch.

Karen decided to tell him all of that. He smiled through some of it, cringed at some it, and nodded at a few other parts.

"That sounds inspiring Karen, but..."

"But what?"

"I can't give her what her own kind can. That's what. I look great until I saddle up next to one of her..."

"Garrus Vakarian! I am shocked at you. You have taken out thugs on Omega, took down a trafficking ring on the Citadel, taken out a Collector base, fought for your home planet and you are going to let a human with enough whines to start his own wine and cheese company best you. Well, if that is all it takes then we have no hope at this war."

She took a breath when she realized Garrus had blinked like he had been slapped. Good. That's what she wanted.

"I don't care how you handle the job. You are the primary bodyguard and protector of one of the greatest commanders the Alliance has ever known. Beyond that, it's personal. My personal opinion is that you should show her exactly what you have to offer. Make sure if she chooses Kaidan over you that she will regret it for every single day of the rest of her life. Show her the man you are, in and out of this war. So suck it up buttercup and put your big boy shorts on. Because frankly if she ends up down an isle with Alenko, I will make your life a living hell and I have the medications to do it!"

She stood folding her arms and staring down at the shocked Turian sitting in front of her.

He blinked and stared at her. Honestly, he had never been talked to by that outside of his mother. He was almost certain Karen had channeled her actually, if he believed in that.

"Well?!? Go! You aren't off duty Vakarian."

He stood up. "Yes...yes ma'am." He chuckled slightly and headed to the main battery to pack his things. While he did it he sent a quick message to Jane on her omni tool.

"Want me to bring anything? Beer, wine?"

It took a few minutes and he heard the alert of new mail. "Just you big guy."

That's all he needed. It was time to show Jane exactly what she was getting. If he was going to lose to Alenko, he was going to go out fighting.