Dance for Me

Heartache

Warning! Self harm attempt and self hate!

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~Lance's POV~

I hold Keith close, listening as he sobbed against my chest. We were finally home and all Keith cold do once he got into the room- which I cleaned- was sob. He clutched my shirt tightly, his pale hands trembling as he cried. The wails he let out were some of the most heartbreaking noises I had ever heard.

"Keith, baby-" His wails got louder when I said 'baby' and I shut my mouth.

"I'm so sorry sweetheart... I love you so much..." I whisper, trying to soothe him. None of my attempts worked until I rubbed the scent gland on my neck against his, causing him to almost go limp. He whined sadly and looked up at me.

"L-Lance... I'm so sorry..." He whispers. I shake my head.

"Don't be baby, it's not your fault. No one can blame you for your behavior, you just lost a baby... that's bound to be hard on you." I whisper, petting his hair gently.

"B-but-"

"No buts... It's not your fault." I say, shushing him. He nods softly and touches his stomach, pulling up his shirt to reveal the scars Lotor had left. I kiss his scars.

"It's alright baby. You're still beautiful to me." I whisper, holding him close.

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~Timskip! After Graduation!~

~Keith's POV~

It's been about three months since I lost the baby and nothing has been the same. I wake up constantly at night due to nightmares of that day. Lance has been kind and supportive but there's nothing that could possibly help me cope with the loss of my baby.

I sit on mine and Lance's shared bed, looking outside until Lance walked in with a tray of food. I look over at him and offer a weak smile. He frowns and sets the tray on the nightstand, sitting next to me.

"Keith, you need to eat. I made you red pancakes, your favorite..."

"I'm not hungry." I mumble, sighing. Lance sighs and looks at me.

"Kitten, please." He whispers.

"Lance, I'm not hungry!" I shout, shoving him off the bed. Lance grunts when he hits the ground and sighs.

"Okay. Okay..." He whispers, putting his hands up in surrender. He stands and takes the tray out of the room. I sigh and listen to my stomach growling.

"Lance, wait!" I shout. He walks back in and looks at me.

"Yeah?"

"I-I am... actually hungry..." I whisper. Lance smiles softly and places the tray on my lap.

"Eat up kitten." Lance whispers. I eat slowly and purr softly.

"Lance... wh-when c-can we t-t-try for another baby?" I stutter. Lance choked on air, his eyes widening.

"Wh-why are you asking kitten?" He asks.

"I-I j-just... nevermind... f-forget it." I mumble, looking at him. He frowns.

"No baby... talk to me." Lance says, pulling me close. I take a deep breath.

"I-I just f-feel so... weird... I want a-a baby... I-I was looking forward to having a baby a-and now i-it's gone... I j-just... d-don't want to lose another one." I mumble. Lance rubs my back.

"Sweetheart. I know you want a baby but... it's only been three months since you lost the baby and... I think you may be trying to rush back into things... I'm not saying I don't want a baby. I do! I just... don't want you to think that you have to have a baby this soon... sweetheart... I love you either way." Lance whispers, bringing tears to my eyes. I nod and sniffle, going back to eating my food.

"S-sorry for asking." I mutter, getting up out of bed and walking into the bathroom, locking the door. I hear Lance leave the bedroom and growl in frustration, swiping my arm across the counter and flinging everything across the bathroom as I scream, looking at myself in the mirror. I scream and punch the mirror, falling to my knees as I sobbed.

"I-I want to die..." I whimper to myself.

"I want t-to die..." I say, a little louder.

"I want to fucking die dammit!" I shout, rocking back and forth.

"Wh-why?! Wh-what did my baby do to fucking deserve this?!" I scream, punching the wall. I hear pounding on the door and scream, throwing the nearest thing against the door.

"Fuck off!" I shout. I whimper and claw at any open piece of skin I could reach. I sob, reaching for a broken shard of glass.

I look at my wrist and take a deep breath. I want to see my baby... I need to see my baby...

I take the shard of glass and press it into the pale skin of my wrist and drag it down the center. I whimper and sniffle, taking a deep breath before doing the same thing to my other wrist.

"Keith?! Keith what's going on in there? Keith?!" Lance screams. I smile.

"I'm coming baby..." I whisper, my vision going black.

~Lance's POV~

I see the blood leaking out from under the door and panic.

"SOMEONE CALL 911!!!!" I shout, breaking the door down and rushing to Keith, putting pressure on his wounds to stop the bleeding. I sob.

"Why would you do this Keith?!" I shout. My mom runs up and runs into the bathroom.

"What happened?" She asks.

"I-I don't know... h-he just locked himself in here and started throwing things... I guess he must've broken the mirror and used it to cut his wrists. Please tell me you called 911." I whispr.

"I did... they're on their way." My mom says, helping me keep pressure on Keith's wounds.

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After not being able to see Keith for hours, I was allowed into his room. I walk to his side and broke down, sobbing.

"Why did you do this Keith? Why?" I sob, gripping his hand.

"Why didn't you let me in? I-is this about our earlier conversation? If so, I'm sorry... w-we can try for another baby whenever you want... I-I'm sorry... I'm so sorry." I whisper.

"I love you so much Keith... p-please don't leave me..." I whisper, sitting down in the chair next to the bed and slowly drifting off to sleep.

~Keith's POV~

I grunt, waking up to a bright light in my eyes. I turn my head away and look at the chair next to my hospital bed, seeing Lance asleep in it. I sit up and look at him, looking around dully.

"Wh-why? Why was I saved?!" I shout, effectively waking my mate. He looked at me, his eyes wide.

"K-Keith..." He whispers.

"Why did you save me?! I was going to see my baby!" I scream.

"Keith! How could you be so selfish?! You are not the only one who is mourning! It wasn't just your child that died! That was my baby too! And on top of it all, you were raped by Lotor! He fucking broke into the room and raped you! You are not the only one who is suffering!" Lance shouts, tears streaming down his face. I gasp, it was weird seeing my Alpha cry. It was weird to see any Alpha cry.

"L-Lance..."

"Keith, this is a hard time for us... a-and... I c-can't fucking stand seeing you so fucking sad. I-I want you to be okay before we try for another baby... I-I'm sorry baby..." Lance whispers.

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Here ya go! Hope you guys enjoyed the angst! And I was wondering... when should they try for a baby again? Please comment to give me your thoughts on the subject. {nothing to harsh please} Anyways...

Luv y'all,
Erin Jaeger