Phan oneshots

In the jungle

Warning: There is a spider involved, so if you're really afraid of spiders, you've been warned. Other than that, intended to be a funny oneshot.

Inspired by Dan and Phil's Rize show on September 4th, when they talked about how they had somehow not seen a spider and Phil said they were now jinxed.

My opportunity was clear

Ps. I don't know what the place they are currently staying in looks like, so no descriptions are accurate.
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Dan's POV

Hello. My name is Dan. And this is the story of how I almost died. Intrigued? Good. I'll quench your curiosity.

It all started on an average day. The sun was shining, the trees surrounding our temporary house were green, and I was sat on the couch in my browsing position. Neck on the back of the couch, back slanted and legs making a perfect table for my laptop.

So as you can see, I was doing nothing wrong. Everything was just right. Except one thing. I hadn't seen Phil in awhile. That concerns me because usually that means he's up to something. Something bad. Something that involves me. Phil planning something and having ideas never leads to good things. Let me give you a list why.
1) He never truly thinks it out so something unplanned is sure to happen and cause disaster.
2) It always involves me. Yes I've already said that, but I'm very passionate about not getting involved in his messes but that only fuels him more it seems.
3) This is Phil frickin Lester. He's clumsy, rather clueless at times, and adorable-
Whoops that wasn't meant to be on- I mean, where did that come from? Heh heh..

I looked around at the unusually quiet house. No sign of Phil. I sighed and returned back to my laptop. He'll show up, one way or another.

~Time skip~

It was quite a bit later, about enough that my neck and back were complaining about the position I've been in. Loudly.

"Oh alright I'll get up, calm down." I muttered to myself.

I took the laptop off my knees and set it on the seat next to me. I stood up and stretched. My back popped loudly. I sighed, feeling refreshed, and decided to go and look for Phil. It's been too long.

Worry suddenly took over my thoughts. Not funny, petty worry. Actual worry for my best friend. Where is he? It's been hours since I've last seen him. What if he got lost walking outside? He's been doing  that often, taking in the beauty of the place we've traveled to. He could've tripped and hurt his foot, or been kidnapped, or had a wild animal attack him, or-

I shook smacked myself on the forehead. Stop that Dan. He's probably just been laying around somewhere, which is why he's been so quiet. Just, go look for him.

I nodded to myself and started looking around the house. Not in the kitchen, not in his bedroom, (I blushed seeing his boxers thrown around the room) not in the bathroom, and he wasn't in the living room.

I was starting to panic. "Where the f-" a voice in my head interrupted,

"Language, Daniel!"

"-riiiiiick is he?!"

I started pacing. What do I do? Is he missing? Should I call the police? No, I don't have any evidence he's been kidnapped. I can't call them yet.