Say something

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Warnings: Sad thoughts

Also, they're just best friends in this oneshot.
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Phil sighs contentedly as he puts his headphones on, laying on the soft grass. The warm sun shone brightly, making the chilly fall day not as cold. He looks to his right where Dan lays on his stomach, reading a book. His lips soundlessly move as his eyes rake across the page.

As it was probably one of the last warmish days of autumn, they decided to get out and enjoy it. Plus they wanted to get away from the stress of YouTube and social media. They had taken a taxi to a park near them. Of course they hadn't come here planning on playing frisbee or soccer like the other people at the park. No, they found a nice spot away from running feet and flying balls and settled themselves down with their own forms of entertainment. Dan reading a book he got hooked on and Phil listening to music as he gazed at the clouds.

As the next song comes on, Phil immediately recognizes it from the first note; Say Something, A Great Big World. It's a soft slow song, full of sadness. But it's absolutely beautiful.

As the song continues, Phil looks over at Dan. Suddenly, the song hits him fully in the heart. What would his life be like without Dan? Without the sarcastic and endearing personality in his life? What would it be like making videos without his best friend? Could he even being himself to do it? Without the ever present sardonic comments never failing to make him laugh. Without the roaring laughter making him smile more than whatever was funny. Without the slap happy nights of bliss, where they simply laughed together. What would his life be like without someone to watch movies with? Or play video games? Or to know his deepest secrets and pains? What would it be like arriving back to an empty flat, alone? Who would be there to comfort him in hard times?

Tears sprung into his eyes. He couldn't do it. Without Dan he was torn in two, never to be whole again. He had given half of himself to Dan, half his life, half his happiness, half his career, everything. If Dan went down, so would most of Phil with it.

The song ends with one last chord. Phil turns so Dan won't see him. What was he doing? Crying because of a song? How silly.. But now he was thinking of the song, and he couldn't stop. Tears fell down his cheeks, getting bigger and more abundant. There was a deep ache in his soul; to hug Dan and never ever let go. But he couldn't. He didn't want his best friend to see him so weak. He was a 31 year old man for Pete's sake. He shouldn't be crying because of one song and a few sad thoughts. But he wanted comfort, and Dan was really the only one who could effectively give it.

Before he could make up his mind, a loud sob invulnerability escaped his lips. He clamped a hand over his mouth, hoping Dan hadn't heard it.

"Phil?" Came a curious voice.

Phil tries to keep his voice even and pretend nothing was wrong. "Y-yeah?" He cringes at his voice crack.

A gentle hand grabs his shoulder. "Phil," Dan says, pulling and trying to make Phil turn towards him. Phil moves his shoulder out of Dan's grip. Dan puts it right back. "Phil please look at me," he says softly.

Phil firms his lips and sits up. He slowly rotates so he's facing Dan. Dan's face morphs into one of concern. "Oh Phil, what's wrong?" He asks in worry.

Phil shrugs and takes his headphones off. Dan's eyes flicker between the headphones and Phil. "Was it a song?"

Phil only nods. He wipes away a tear, willing no more to fall.

"What song?"Dan asks, keeping his voice gentle.

Phil, not wanting to speak in case his voice gives out again, hands Dan the headphones. Dan sits up and puts them on. Phil plays the song, tears pricking his eyes just thinking about it. Dan's face melts into one of fond compassion. "Oh Phil, come here, buddy," he says, opening his arms up with a small smile.

Phil doesn't hesitate to fall into Dan's arms, secure arms catching him and holding him close. Phil rests his head on Dan's chest. He takes in deep breaths, shuddering with the effort not to sob. But one escapes his lips when Dan says quietly, "I'm not going anywhere, okay?" And with those comforting words, more sobs follow. Dan rubs Phil's back lightly as Phil cries, burying his face into Dan's shirt.

He knew Dan wasn't judging him, but he was still embarrassed. And who knows if other people might be watching?

Eventually Phil's sobs subside and silent tears are left to run down his face. He gives a great sniff and wipes his eyes. He knows he probably looks like a mess. He looks up at Dan, who's eyes are shining with tears. But also love.

"Feel better?" He asks, fixing some of Phil's hair.

"Yeah," Phil says quietly, still not trusting his voice at it's normal volume. "Sorry I made you look like you just spilled on yourself."

Dan laughs, the sound making Phil a little more cheerful. He always loved Dan's laugh. It was unashamedly loud, meaning Dan didn't care what others thought; he was having a good time and that's what mattered.

Dan stands and offers a hand down to Phil. "Ready to go home?"

Phil smiles and takes his hand. Dan hoists Phil up onto his feet then pulls him into a hug. Phil wraps his arms around him and rests his head on his shoulder. "You're a great friend, Phil," Dan says softly. "You crying doesn't mean you're weak, it shows you care about me. It shows you have a tender heart.

And that's why I love you."

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No, not a twist ending, it was meant in a platonic way :) I like these kind of oneshots, personally. They're more likely to be true than the Phan ones. Because we all know for a fact Dan and Phil are best friends and love each other as such.

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