I Will Never Love You~Jenzie

19. A Kinda-Explanation for Conner

Mackenzie

"Are you okay?" Hayden asked once we were away from the Orlando's house. "Y-yeah" I stuttered. "I just-he-it" Hayden placed a hand on my thigh and glanced at me before looking back to the road. "It's okay kenz, you don't need to rush. Just, take a deep breath and collect your thoughts." I gave him a weak smile before closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to calm myself. "He just scared me is all." I said. "I fell asleep at the table and he woke me up. He was standing over me and he had a grip on my shoulder and it just scared me. I didn't see Johnny, I saw Hunter. I knew it was only him but the memories came rushing back so fast and I felt like he was there and I felt like he was crushing me and touching me and-" I ran out of breath before I could continue and buried my face in my hands. Hayden rubbed my leg softly to comfort me and told me to focus on my breathing. "Do you still want to go to school today? It's fine if you don't, we could do something else. It's not like our parents are going to care." I took my hands away from face and exhaled before responding.

"We can't, school is important and we can't ditch." He nodded and turned into the school's parking lot. Once the car was parked, all my nerves increased tenfold and Hayden noticed. "Hey, hey, kenz. It's alright, I promise." he said as he took my hand. "Let's just go find Annie and Brynn or something." I squeezed my eyes shut and swallowed before opening them again and giving him a small smile. "Okay,"

So far nothing has happened. And I'm freaking out. "Why are you so worked up over the fact that they're NOT bothering you?" hayden asked as we walked down the hallway. I had my stuff clutched tightly to my chest and kept my head down as Hayden walked beside me keeping an eye on everyone who passed us. "Because!" I hissed, "They always bother me, no matter what. It's third period and they haven't done anything yet which isn't normal. Ruby passed me this morning and didn't even say anything, there's something going on." Before he could reply, a voice called my name from behind us. "Mackenzie! Hey! Wait up!" I froze at the sound of Conner's voice and used all my willpower to make myself turn around and look at him. He came to a stop in front of me, panting with a smile on his face. "H-"

"Who are you?" Hayden said, cutting him off. Conner's changed from me over to Hayden, a confused expression immediately settling over his face. "Umm, I could ask you the same thing." he replied and crossed his arms across his chest. Hayden copied his stance and raised an eyebrow, "Im her best friend/body guard. And you are?" Hayden asked. Conner let out a laugh before turning back to me. "Seriously, kenz, who is this idiot?"

"Don't call him that!" I snapped and Conner's smile slipped off his face. "What? Mackenzie I've never seen this guy before in all the times we've hung out. How's he gonna claim to be your best friend if you guys don't even hang out?" "You have no idea what you're talking about!" hayden snapped. Conner looked back to Hayden and let out a dry laugh. "Relax buddy, I think I know plenty." Hayden balled his hands into fists and took a step towards Conner but I put a hand on his stomach to stop him. "Hayden stop." I said and Conner turned to face me again. "What?!" he yelled. "This is Hayden?? Your ex boyfriend?! The guy that broke you!?" Conner's face was twisted into an expression of anger and confusion. "Conner, please relax. It's not what it looks like-" I tried to reason but he interrupted. "Why do you mean 'its not what it looks like'?! You're walking down the hallway with HAYDEN and he's claiming to be your best friend and you're okay with it?! What the hell's happening?" His harsh tone made me flinch but he didn't seem to notice. "Listen buddy-" hayden started but I stopped him. "Conner, it's hard to explain-"

"No it's not, Mackenzie!" Conner cut off again. "This piece of shit cheated on you! He called you every disgusting name under the sun and now you're with him again?! Is this some kind of joke or....?"

"No! It's not a joke, Conner!" I yelled back, fed up of his interruptions and yelling. "You just don't understand! And you never will! I can only tell you a little bit but I can't if you don't stop interrupting and let me at least try to explain! So stop fucking yelling at me like you know everything and let me explain!" The anger on his face slipped away as he saw how angry I had gotten. "Okay, I'm sorry." he replied before looking at the ground. I closed my eyes and counted to ten as I slowed my breathing down to calm myself down. I felt someone take my hand and I instantly snatched it back and opened my eyes to see Conner staring back at me with hurt in his eyes. "Don't touch me." I stated and the hurt increased. "Mackenzie please I didnt-" "I know," I said, cutting him off. "It's not you, it's me. I just....please just don't touch me." I said and looked at the ground. I felt Hayden wrap an arm around my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me and I let out a shaky breath as a sense of safety and comfort engulfed me just by knowing he was with me. I looked back up to Conner to see him staring daggers at Hayden who was shooting his own right back. "Is this some kind of joke?" Conner asked again, the anger returning. "Did you just kiss me to have fun and toy around with me?" "No!" I said but he didn't seem convinced. "Then why can he touch you but not me! Why the hell is he even here!" Conner shouted and Hayden's grip on my shoulder tightened slightly letting me know he was about to lose his temper. "Conner can we please go somewhere and talk about this? People are starting to stare." He looked around us before nodding.

We sat in silence in the courtyard after I explained to Conner everything about Hayden. Well, only the part about why Hayden and I are together again. "Why is he calling himself your bodyguard though? And why can't I touch you but he can?" I sighed and looked down. "I can't tell you," I mumbled. "What?" Conner said. "What do you mean you can't tell me? I'm your friend, more than that actually. Where did you go yesterday?"

"Conner, I can't be with you." I said and his eyes hardened. "Why not? Why can't you answer my questions? Is it because you're back with Hayden? What the hell!" I closed my eyes and tried to figure out a way to tell him but not reveal to much, and not hurt him in the process. "Conner, I can't answer your questions because I just can't. I'm sorry. I can answer one though and that's that I'm not back with Hayden. We aren't getting back together, but I can't get with you either." "What?" he whispered, it looked like I just slapped Conner in the face. "I'm sorry!" I exclaimed and wiped the tears that were falling down my face. "There's so much going on right now and I can't tell you. I really wish I could Con, but I can't. I don't want to lose you, Conner, but I just can't get involved with you romantically. It's not because I don't like you or anything it's just..." my sentence trailed off as I covered my face with my hands and tried to force the thoughts of Hunter out of my head. "You still love him that's why." Conner said and I moved my hands away from my face to see him staring at me. I looked away from him, "I'm sorry Conner," I whispered and he scoffed. "This sucks." he stated and I let out a short laugh and looked back to him. "I know, I'm sorry." I said and he waved it off. "It's fine, Kenzie. I like you as more than a friend but there's no reason to lose you as one because you don't feel the same way. I don't support your love for him, but I support you, and if you want to get back with Hayden then you do you. I understand now that it wasn't him who was doing all those things, but I still don't trust him. I'm going to be watching him like a hawk to make sure he doesn't hurt you. And I'll wait until you're comfortable enough to tell me what's going on with you. We haven't known each other long so I understand why you aren't telling me." I smiled when he was done and he smiled back. "Thank you, Conner. Thank you for caring about me and trying to protect me. I'm glad we don't have to lose each other because of this." "Me too," he agreed and stood up to walk over to me. "Can I touch you or...?" I closed my eyes and swallowed before opening them again and forcing a smile. "Yeah," I replied and he wrapped his arms around me in a friendly hug. The contact reminded me of Hunter but I knew it was just Conner so that helped, a little bit. He pulled away and smiled before excusing himself and walking back into the school through the door. I sat back down and closed my eyes to think about what just happened when I heard the door open and close again. I figured it was just Hayden or Conner so I sighed and slowly opened my eyes only to be faced with a nightmare I wasn't expecting.

"Hello, Mackenzie. Ready for me?" Hunter said with the most evil smile spread across his face.