Change → Tom Riddle

35

ngl to you all, sometimes I feel like I'm on a roll and sometimes I feel like I've just rolled into a brick wall with change. but, i never fear bc ur feedback always keeps me feelin inspired!! i love you all as always xoxox

Even with her epiphany, Olivia just couldn't stop herself. She kept loving him.

It was like she was watching herself from a third person. She was watching herself smiling and laughing with him, and she was watching him be wicked. She didn't know what he did away from her, but she knew it wasn't good. Olivia felt guilty, really guilty because she knew if anyone could stop him, it was her. That was the original goal, wasn't it? That's what Dumbledore wanted her to do. He wanted Olivia to change Tom as if he was an outfit. But deep in her heart, and this was possibly the worst part, she knew she didn't want to.

So, instead of telling Eve and Gabriella, Olivia ignored the conflict inside of her, instead fully focussing on whatever revision she had to do; it was an excuse she took. The only downside to this, however, was that her nightmares were beginning to be a regular occurrence. As she didn't deal with her struggle when she was awake, her brain bullied her at night, constantly putting Tom into the worst dreams they could muster, and blaming her for not preventing it. Asking her why. Olivia was really wrestling with it so much, she was beginning to sleep less. It was affecting her that much. She wanted to blame Tom, the bastard, but couldn't, so instead, she blamed Dumbledore for pulling her into this. Maybe it was his fault, maybe it wasn't, but she needed something to accuse. And this spark of hate could turn into a flame anyway because at one point he requested her in his office to talk. 
"Miss Ramirez," he started, "I'm worried about you." 
"Worried?" she echoed. Dumbledore sighed. 
"Is there anything on your mind? Something that you want to share, perhaps?" Dumbledore asked. 
"No, sir. Just call it exam stress," she said, holding up some of her textbooks. She went everywhere with them. "I'll be healthier when it's over." 
"If you're sure," he replied. Take it, a part of her screamed. You know you need it. 
"I'm sure, professor." 

"Do I look alright to you guys? Dumbledore has to be imagining stuff," Olivia asked Eve and Gabriella, sitting opposite them. She put some mashed potato on her plate but felt two hard stares on her. 
"We know we put him up to that date, but..." Gabriella trailed off. 
"Why aren't you sleeping? What's wrong?" Eve asked, a little harsher. 
"Nothing," Olivia lied. "Why?" 
"You look like you died of the plague and just came back to life," Eve deadpanned. Olivia twisted her lips to the side. 
"Okay, Eve too mean. Liv, you know we're just worried," Gabriella said. "We love you and we don't like seeing you hurt. And, well, you look hurt. What's happening up there?" Olivia shook her head. 
"Nothing. It's just exam stress." 
"Exam stress my ass," Eve muttered. Then, she stood up. "If you won't tell us..." Olivia and Gabriella watched as she marched to the Slytherin table. 
"What's she doing?" Olivia asked Gabriella. 
"You'll see," Gabriella said smugly. Olivia could only watch as Eve approached Tom, said some words to him, then stormed back to the table. 
"Tell me what you want, Olivia, but you're not well," Eve declared. 
"Eve, I-" 
"No, Olivia. I've known you for seven years. This is not you. You don't talk. You hide. You don't put your hand up in lessons anymore. I am worried, so tell us or sort it out." Again, her friend stalked off, leaving Olivia with Gabriella. 
"Gabbie," she moaned. "I am okay, I just-" 
"You're not, Livvie," Gabriella said gently. "You really do look terrible. And Eve is just upset you don't want to tell us." 
"I don't want to burden you guys. It's not your problem," Olivia tried. 
"You need to tell someone," Gabriella told her, smiling softly. "I think you do need help." Olivia sighed. 
"I just know what will happen if I do. I don't want that," Olivia responded, looking down. All of a sudden she was welling up, and she hated crying. 
"You don't want what?" 
"I don't want to lose him." 
"Is Tom... hurting you?" Gabriella whispered. Olivia shook her head rapidly. 
"No! Not even close. I just..." she sighed. "You guys will get it one day." 
"We need to 'get it' now."

Olivia spent the rest of the week avoiding her friends, just like she was trying to avoid the situation. Tom noticed this, though. 
"Are you feeling well?" Tom inquired one evening. He'd just about managed to badger her enough so that she would pull away from her studies. They were in front of the fire; Olivia was sat on Tom again. She snorted, suddenly feeling angry. 
"What is it with everyone and that question? I'm perfectly fine, thank you," she retorted, sliding off his lap. 
"Darling, you don't seem well," Tom said as if correcting himself. 
"Darling?" she echoed. 
"Don't try and distract me." His tone was turning serious. 
"No te preocupes por eso [don't worry about it]," Olivia told him. Tom was silent for a minute longer, and when he spoke again, Olivia was honestly surprised it was a different topic. 
"Have you ever heard of Legilimency?" Tom inquired, snaking an arm around her waist to pull her closer. 
"No," she replied, shaking her head. "Why? What is it?" 
"Legilimency," he started slowly, "is the art of navigating through a person's mind." 
"You're going to read my mind to find out what's wrong?" Olivia inquired, snorting. 
"No. I thought that seeing as you have taught me a language, I might teach you this skill. You can use it as a way to defend your thoughts, too." 
"You know how to do this...  ¿lectura del pensamiento? [mind reading]" 
"It's different to mind reading. But, yes. And I want to teach you how to do so." 
"Why is it so important to you?" 
"It's a life skill," he explained, "like... speaking languages. It will be useful. And you can block your mind in case people want to see inside." After a pause, he spoke again. "I mean, if you don't want to learn it now, we can wait until after the exams." 
"What do you want to do after the exams, Tom?" Olivia asked absentmindedly. 
"Hmm?" 
"What job are you going to take up?" She watched as the corner of his mouth dipped (not that they turned upwards often, anyway). 
"I don't know," he said. "I never really gave it any thought." 
"Well, what do you enjoy? Something you're passionate about? You'd be great in politics." Tom chuckled. 
"I don't know about politics. You know Slughorn offered me some interviews with Ministry officials?" 
"He did? That's funny, last week, he told me he could get me an interview with someone from the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures," Olivia replied. 
"Did you take it?" She shook her head. 
"I wanted to get in on my own terms." Tom nodded. 
"I know what you mean."