Change → Tom Riddle

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 hey guys! i've been noticing a lot of you are adding 'Change' to your reading lists, and thank you! also, to everyone who votes and everyone who comments! also, 20k views. I'm sorry, 20k? 20,000 people have actually read this?? mad!! i love you all xxx

At long last, N.E.W.Ts were upon them. 

Because Olivia was already working hard enough, it made no difference to her at all. It had only left her relationship with Eve rocky as Olivia barely saw them; only when needed. On the other hand, she and Tom were managing to spend plenty of time together as he managed to fit in Occlumency around exams and revision. But as she started finishing all her subjects, she started to have more time. And she couldn't help but think of how rude she'd been to Eve and Gabriella. Of course, she told them everything, because they were her rocks. But she felt bad for not telling them this one thing. So, she wanted to make it up to them. 

"Hey, er, buenos díás [good morning]." Olivia plopped herself down opposite her friends. Eve kept on eating but Gabriella smiled at her. "Um, how about we, er, go for a swim tonight?" Olivia offered, putting some eggs on her plate. Eve shared a glance with Gabriella, but she was quick to reply. 
"We can meet there after dinner," Gabriella offered. "Wouldn't that be nice, Eve?" Eve mumbled an unhearable answer. "Eve," Gabriella repeated warningly.
"Sure," Eve sighed. 
"Merlin, just stop being so crabby and eat your breakfast," Gabriella told her, putting more toast on Eve's plate. "Liv, we'll see you later."

The day's exams passed quickly (Olivia only had about three left now; she was just at the door of giving up) and Olivia made her way down to their little swimming hideout. Tom had wanted to do some more practice of Occlumency, but Olivia had left him a note explaining she wanted some 'girl time'. In the summer evening heat, the water was refreshingly cool for Olivia to just float in. It kind soothed all the stress out of Olivia, and she remembered why she liked being a mermaid so much. 

It wasn't long after that she was joined by her best friends, and there was a couple of minutes of awkward silence until Eve broke it. 
"Well?" Eve asked, and Olivia knew her so well that she knew it would've been hard for Eve to not spit it out. 
"Um, I have some stuff- well, not stuff, something really- to tell you guys," Olivia said. Eve and Gabriella shared a look, then swam forwards. 
"You're knocked up!" They shouted together, patting Olivia's tummy, and Olivia squealed. 
"No! ¡de ninguna manera!  [no way!]" Olivia screamed, whacking their hands away. "I've been having some very bad dreams about Tom recently, like 'taking over the world' kind of bad, and I just feel so guilty that I couldn't tell anyone because... well, I really do like him," Olivia finished, suddenly feeling kind of lame. 

"We get it, Liv. You're good at heart," Eve said, after a few minutes. "But if they're dreams, you shouldn't be so scared. It's okay to tell people you think your boyfriend wants to take over the world. Doesn't mean you don't like him." 
"Yeah, but he is my first boyfriend. My first radio," Olivia replied. 
"Rodeo," Gabriella automatically corrected. "We know Tom's kind of evil. Like a neutral evil."
"Andrew always tells me that we should be careful around him, and we all know that Andrew isn't sensible," Eve told Olivia, then turned to Gabriella. "Do you remember last summer, when my parents went to France, he wanted to try sledging down the grand staircase?" Gabriella snorted. 
"He's such a dork," she said dreamily. Olivia and Eve stared, then Eve gagged. Whilst Gabriella daydreamed, Olivia kept talking to Eve. 
"Tom's teaching me Occlumency," she said. 
"What's that?" 
"It's kind of like advanced mind reading. I think," Olivia explained. "Like, invading someone's mind."
"How rude," Eve answered nonchalantly. "Do you know why?" 
"He said it was to defend me? So I can protect my thoughts. He was pretty stubborn about it." Eve snorted. 
"He likes to wear the pants in the relationship?" 
"He thinks he does. But we both know it's me."

Diary,

Olivia has gone away for the night, exchanging our Occlumency lessons to spend more time with her friends. I'd like to be angry, but she was so depressed without them (to the point I was considering forcing them together) that I cannot be too unhappy. At least I have some time to myself, which I haven't had since N.E.W.Ts started.

N.E.W.Ts themselves are going very successfully; if I have not been awarded an 'O' in every subject, something must be extremely wrong- that is, hopefully, my teachers will have enough sense to send them back for remarking. I've also (yet again) had another offer from Slughorn to get into the Ministry, but if I'm going to join the Ministry, it will be on my terms. However, Olivia does say it is a sensible place to work- steady and stable. I think Olivia herself will end up in the Ministry; just not the departments she should work in. All that magical creatures rights is rubbish if you ask me. Not that I'd tell her that. That adorably meek smile would fall, and she probably wouldn't talk to me for a week straight. 

No matter. 

I am sure now that Olivia does love me, whether she knows it or not. I could kill a country, and she'd still love me; it would be disguised by hate. She would come back to me a thousand times, and she knows this at least. She thinks that I like her back, and the lie comes out easily. But so does the guilt that comes flooding into me; I do not understand it. I have never had such a problem lying to people before, so why is it so different with Olivia? I hurt her, yet I hate seeing people hurt her. Seeing her pain at Christmas made me feel like murdering someone as if that would fix everything.

Nothing describes how I feel about her. Nothing.

TMR