sad multifandome (English)

If you need help get it

You know when there's that moment when you tell yourself it's fine everything's is okay your okay for a day or two maybe even a week, and then everything all the sudden hits you, it hits you as hard as it could be hit.
You don't know what to do, you feel like you've lost yourself you've lost everything, you no longer know what to do, so you cry.

And you keep telling yourself your fine, when your really not fine you keep thinking about him, you keep thinking about what's next? Your thinking about your future, you think if people do and did care that maybe they wouldn't leave, but then you think more maybe it's better for them if they leave you, and all you're problems that they don't need.

Maybe it was better, maybe they are a stronger person without you, maybe you are not needed to be with other people, expect yourself you just keep saying your fine you tell everyone your fine, your okay you try to surround yourself with friends, but of course your friends don't understand what your going threw, they don't know they just seem like, everything's is fine.

That's what you tell them but no your not fine, but you keep telling yourself that you are, you don't know what's next, all your friends are happy, but your the one... you feel that's the only one that has depression, who has anxiety who feels that they can't be loved, because you have all these problems, you don't want to keep going but you know you have to.

You know you have to, because there's the people in the world that also do care, even though you feel like you don't matter you want the love but... not the love that they give you, you want the kinds of love from a person, that they don't care what you look like, they don't care about your scars that you hide under your sleeves, you don't care anymore.

Because you know that you think that there's no one out there, that will because that one person that you though did, walked out of you life that one person, you told your secrets that you loved, you tough you loved them you still do and they said that they loved you back, they said they would always love you no matter what, then what about now?

What are we now?
Are we just nothing?
Are we just people in this terrible world that we're just living in, you said you wouldn't love me and be my friend no matter what goes on, as the tears come streaming down my face and I have no body else, to talk to except you but I can't because you said you no longer loved me, and I think you do not care anymore.

But I can't even tell if you do, I don't know anymore I really don't, just keep telling yourself it's fine you cry yourself to sleep, but you still say your fine that everything is going end up okay, with your life even though you just have to walk threw it, with the pain you feel you have to keep telling yourself, that you are okay and things get better even if it seems like it's not, it will.

You just keep telling yourself that and you will make it through even though, you don't feel like it's going to get okay, that's your not going to be okay and that you need him there, with you every step but no your okay by yourself you have family, you have friends, you need to not keep it in you need to not hide your scars, you need to tell them how you feel.  And what you need, and if you need help you get it.