New lives - 16

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Life without your kids was killing you.

It was hard explaining it to the school as to why some of your kids won't attend that school anymore, and the principal seemed to understand completely. They were removed off the system and it killed you.

Not only that, once you told your boss about the whole incident, he actually let you get few days off to get everything under control.

The house was so quiet and lifeless, everything just looked grey to you. Jin, Tae and Namjoon weren't handling it well either. Most days you found them sleeping in their brothers bed, and you just wanted to make them come back home.

Jin was caring as always, but he seemed a little more protective than usual. He was very cautious of a lot of things, and he seemed to so grown up. Most days you found him cleaning and cooking dinner for you and his brothers. He obviously knew how depressed you were, so he tried his hardest to help you as much as he could.

Joon was more quiet then usual. He was quiet on a daily basis, but now he refuses to speak a single word. You find him writing all the time, but you don't bother him to ask him. You know he wouldn't answer and would try to hide it from you. It was best to leave him alone.

Tae was probably dealing with it the worst of all of you. He wasn't smiling, he wasn't laughing, he stayed in his room all day and slept or was crying. Most days you found him without his hearing aid in and his reason was because he couldn't stand not hearing noise, so was the point of hearing at all. He couldn't live without his brothers.

It just broke you down and made you feel depressed and sensitive. Most days you cried yourself to sleep because you couldn't handle the guilt. This was all your fault.

"Mommy?" Jin knocked on your bedroom door.

"Come in," you say, as he opened the door. "What is it?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"What do you think they're doing right now?"

You motioned for Jin to sit down next to you on the bed, as you held him close to you. He returned the hug.

"I'm not sure. But I hope they're okay."

"Me too."

***

Yoongi was upstairs in his room, because he was grounded. He didn't do anything obviously, but his parents were drunk and stupid so they made him go to his room for the rest of the day.

He just wanted to leave and run back home to his real family, but he couldn't. He didn't want to risk getting "in trouble" for the hundredth time today.

He didn't even understand why they even bothered to have him in the first place. Of course he was grateful he was alive, but at the same time he didn't.

Would life be any different if he wasn't born at all?

He figured that's what his mommy felt when it came to her parents, typically her mom, his grandmother. She did this to him and now he just wants her behind bars for the horrible things she'd done to his family.

"Yoongi! Get your ass down here!"

Yoongi felt his anxiety increase as he heard his name being called. He hated to see what came next. He took shaky steps down the steps, but forced himself to be brave.

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