Just Asean Things | ✔️

Pick up lines gone wrong

Prepare for the corniest and cringiest  pick up lines from the Asean!

Timor Leste: just wanna steal your oxygen but not in a sexy way like "taking your breath away" but more in a dementor way.

Indonesia: cute!

Timor Leste: gosh darn it! I'm a fudging failure!

—

Singapore: I like a girl like how I like my chips

Malaysia: how?

Singapore: I can't just have one!

Malaysia: *throws slipper at Singapore*

—

Cambodia: did you fall from heaven?

Laos:

Laos: no, but I did scrape my knee crawling out of hell.

—

Philippines: You could be my number one but you landed at number four

Brunei: who are the three people?

Philippines: me, myself, and I.

—

Thailand: on a scale of one to ten, you're a nine.

Vietnam: what?! Why!?

Thailand: cause I'm the one you need *winks*

Vietnam:

Vietnam: but I still don't get why Im a nine.

—

Cambodia: hey Myanmar

Myanmar: what?

Cambodia: why does Peter Pan say 'think good thoughts and you can fly', but every time I think of you, I fall?

Myanmar: *processing*

Myanmar: what?

Cambodia: *runs*

Myanmar: *shouts* did you just—

Myanmar: did you just flirt with me?

—

Philippines: it's never forever when it comes to love

Brunei: but we're immortal

Philippines: are we dating?

Brunei: we used to..

Philippines: exactly.

—

Netherlands: I love how you're small

Indonesia:

Netherlands: because you fit in my heart perfectly.

Indonesia:

Indonesia: *cries* am I that small?

—

( Laos and Myanmar in bed about to sleep)

Laos: hey Myan?

Myanmar: what?

Laos: I can't sleep

Myanmar: well I can *turns back on her* good night

—

Singapore: you're so delicate

Malaysia: *blushes*

Singapore: *whispers* I could just break you

Malaysia:

—

Brunei: if both of us are the only people in the world, will you finally accept me?

Philippines: are there any animals?

Brunei: Uh...I guess so..?

Philippines: then I'd choose the dog.

—

Timor: are you from Asia?

Indonesia: why?

Timor: cause you're Indonasia!

Indonesia: how dare you make me a pun

—

One last BruPhil I swear

Brunei: you know, every time I hurt myself, you are always there. When I fail my job application, you were there for me. When I lost all my money for something so useless, you were there. When I got into a fight, you're always there. When my car broke down, you're always there. You know what that means?

Philippines: I know, I love you too.

Brunei: no, you're bad luck to me.

—

Cambodia: I could be yours or you could be mine

Laos: I'd choose none.

Cambodia: why?

Laos: because I know you'll leave for someone else.

—

Singapore: hey, I lost my number, can I have yours?

Malaysia: you literally just used a phone to read what you just said.

—

Thailand: are you a magnet?

Vietnam: why?

Thailand: because you're attractive!

Vietnam: bye.

—

Indonesia: is your mom a baker?

Malaysia: why?

Indonesia: cause you're a cutie pie!

Malaysia: were sisters and we don't have a mom.

—

Myanmar: the sun shines brightly every time I'm with you~

Cambodia: aw really?

Myanmar: Yes, and it hurts.

—

Thailand: life gives you the sweetest kiss when you smile

Vietnam: I can't smile

Thailand: *kisses Vietnam*

Vietnam: *blushes* what was that for?

Thailand: I'm your life.

—

Singapore: I have a surprise for you!

Malaysia: really?! What is it?

Singapore: the receipt of the bill you owe me 500 years ago.

Malaysia:

—

Welp! That's twenty all in all! I need to sleep now bye!