Just Asean Things | ✔️

As(e)an Vi(n)es i thought of an(d) found based on (m)y hours of bor(e)dom

Person: Are you guys very close friends?

Laos: we are very...Uhh..

Person: very..what?

Cambodia: just very. Not close, Not friends.

-

Philippines: to know when a Pearl is real, rub two pearls against each other and if they emit a powder, it's real (this is actually tru btw)

Malaysia: so if I rub it against each other, would it lessen the quantity/mass of the pearl?

Philippines: I mean, you don't just rub everything all at once everyday to know it's real that's just dumb.

-

Indonesia: *being a superstitious person wearing a shit ton of "money dragon" jewelries*

China: uhh what're you doing?

Indonesia: I need money, I'm broke

China: well seeming that you have a lot of it maybe the reason why you don't have money

(You can only have one type of "money dragon/Pixiu" jewelry because a lot won't work)

-

China: I produce the best jade

Myanmar: well I produce the best jade too

China: *stabs Myanmar* tHeRe CoUlD bE oNlY oNe

(Based on ASDF)

-

Thailand: I spent most of my time thinking about something that would make the world a better place

Vietnam: reducing the use of plastic in order to stop global warming?

Thailand: no

Thailand: Homicide

-

Indonesia: so in Chinese culture, they appreciate the Pixiu dragon because it only eats gold and silver but don't shit it out that why it's called the "money dragon"

Brunei: so if it digests the gold, where does it go to relieve it?

Philippines: sweat glands probably

Malaysia: oh no

-

China: do you know how to indicate the genders of the dragon statues you see in typical Chinese places?

China: well, you see if the left paw is placed forward, that's a guy. And if one paw is placed on the right, that's a girl.

Timor: why?

China: because women are always right and that's a fact

ASEAN girls: *feeling a sense of pride*

ASEAN guys:

PNG: *looking down at the statue* I don't see no penis

China: WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING?

-

I found this on an Amino and I thought it was really funny so this is a disclaimer

Also if you want to join the Amino, let me know so I can ask my friend about it lol

Brunei: I once kicked Philippines in the head accidentally while I was doing yoga and I couldn't decide whether I should say "I'm sorry" or "are you okay?" and out of impulse I screamed "ARE YOU SORRY?!" and that left a painful memory forever.

-

Brunei: you retarded

Singapore: how'd you know?

Brunei:

Brunei: I'm dead inside btw nice to meet ya

-

Person: miss would you like to buy anything?

Malaysia: nah I'm good. Just window shopping...

Malaysia: damn, I cost 50 ringgit? That's rude.

Person: uhh, that's a mirror

-

Laos, in the airport: fuck I'm lost

Laos: this is my only chance..

Laos: HELP IM BEING SEXUALLY ASSAULTED

Myanmar, through the distance: WHERE'S THE MAN? ILL KILL HIM!

Cambodia also thought he distance : WHERE'S THE POPCORN?!

(IM NOT SUPPORTING RAPE OKAY?!) (sorry caps lock)

-

Indonesia: the earth is a sphere because we have an atmosphere not an atmoflat

Philippines: uh..it's flat because that's how it looks like in Minecraft

Malaysia: if the earth is flat how is my life consistent going downhill

-

PNG: I like you

PNG: breathe to accept me

Timor: *turning blue*

-