The Recipe To A Millionaire's Heart | ✓

29.

C H R I S T I N E

After the doctor informed me about my condition, I was left alone with Jennifer as Max and Matthew went to get some coffee and fresh air. He insisted on staying by my side but I encouraged him to go outside. I knew he needed to stretch his legs and get some air away from the smell of disinfectant and death.

Sadness settled into my bones and engraved itself in my heart. Hours ago, death decided to take my mother away and I still can't wrap my head around it. Maybe of I had gotten there earlier, she would have been okay. Or maybe if I had more money, she would have better care and she would have been okay. I should have more. I should have worked harder. I should have been a better daughter. And all those thoughts caused my eyes well up with tears again.

"Don't you even go there, Christy." Jennifer frowned. "It's not your fault." She held my hand tightly. "The sickness took her away and there's nothing you could have done. You've done enough and your mom was always proud of you and the woman you have become." Hearing mom and was in the same sentence brought fresh tears. Jenny climbed next to me on the bed and let me cuddle into her shoulder as I cried my heart and soul out again till I fell into oblivion once more.

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A few days went by after I have been discharged from the hospital. I was so hesitate to start on the funeral arrangements because a part of me still thinks this is all a horrible nightmare that I will wake up from. Every corner in the apartment has reminiscences of her. I saw her everywhere and I heard her talk and laugh and cry all day until it drove fucking insane so I packed a small bag and headed to the only place I knew would be peaceful and quiet. Matthew's.

I didn't even bother to call or tell him that I'm coming. I just needed to get out of my apartment. It was in the middle of the night and I couldn't sleep because I could feel her playing with my hair to lure me to sleep and it sent me into another round of tears and sobs. I have barely slept this week, let alone ate or drank normally but I didn't care. I couldn't bring myself to do so.
I

was tired, unbelievably so. I just wanted to sleep and never wake up so I could get rid of all of this. The headache never left me and dull ache was always present in my heart and I. Just. Can't. Take. It. Anymore.

I didn't know how I arrived there, it was muscle memory. I let my legs take me there in the heavy pour down but again I didn't care.

I knocked on his big wooden door and waited for it to open. Matthew unlocked the door and gaped at me.

"Sweetheart, come inside." He grabbed my shoulders and ushered me into his mansion. He helped me take off my soaking wet coat and my muddy shoes. He took my small backpack off my shoulders and checked for any dry clothes. When he realised that all I've brought with is wet and cold, he threw the bag to side and directed us into his warm room.

I stood near the door watching him silently as he went through his closet. I was shivering in my spot as droplets fell from my hair and into the carpeted floor making it a shade darker. He turned to me with a chunky maroon turtle neck and some grey sweat pants.

"Do you wanna take a quick hot shower?" He asked softly. I wanted to answer him, to thank him for his kindness, to explain myself and why I am here but instead a tears rolled down my cheeks as my bottom lip wobbled.

"It's okay, baby, I've got you." He brought me closer to him in a tight hug. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms for a moment before I started to shiver again from the cold. He pulled away and held the end of my sweater.

"Is it okay?" He whispered and I nodded. He helped me out of my sweater slowly and gently. His gaze never left eyes as he did so. He wanted me to know that he wasn't doing this for his enjoyment, he just wanted to help and I trusted him fully. He took us into the bathroom where he threw my sweater into the laundry basket.

His hands rested on the waist band of my jeans. His eyes asked me if is it okay and I nodded at him again. I was honestly too tired to bother with changing my own clothes as tears continued to flow freely. He unbuttoned my jeans and knelt as I sat on the edge of the bathtub so he can take my jeans off. He unclasped my bra and took my socks and underwear off yet his eyes never left mine. He helped me into the bathtub, I brought my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around them as he switched the hot water on. I sighed in content as the hot water hit my head and body. It quickly warmed me up and my body slowly stopped shivering. My tears fell with the hot water but I didn't have the power to stop them.

Matthew rolled the sleeves of his sweater up and massaged some shampoo into my hair. The smell of lemon and mint hit and I closed my eyes to try and relax. He rinsed the shampoo with water before he grabbed the bath sponge and put shower gel on it that smelled exactly like him. I leaned into his touch as he worked on my back.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this." He whispered. I'm sorry too.