My Jamaican Love Triangle

24

**Tanya's POV**

Four days. Four days now since everything happen and fi be honest sometimes me think about everything, it bother me at times me nah go lie bout that but me try fi avoid being depressed. Me try and keep me self round me family especially Melia she keep me mind from off a what happen, she know me don't ready fi fully talk bout wah happen and she understand, one a di reasons why mi haffi love har suh.

Music is another healing method fi me to. When me feel like me a get sad and lonely me plug in me earphone and listen all sort a music on me phone  except the love song dem. Mi promise me self say me never did ga call or text back deh one deh phone again, it hurt me heart fi even mention him name suh me call him deh one deh.

Me just a come home fra school. Me life just revolve round me yard,school and then me yard again . Me have me SBA dem a stress me as much, me have me maths and English SBA fi do and me can't even focus pon dem. Me just loose focus on everything cause not a day don't go by and me don't think bout di biggest mistake me ever make.

The last conversation mi did have wid deh one deh a when me did tell him to avoid me. All now him don't know dat me know di entire story. Him tell me say him don't wah di gal and dat di gal obsessed with him. A pay half a story him tell me all now him don't mention dat di gal have Pickney fi him an she a breed again, him don't mention dat dem live together and fi di past four days di amount a time me mek fi call or text him an me hav to a fight me self fi don't do it.  Him send mi wah heap a messages and call couple times but mi just ignore it all. Me can't deal wid him stress rite now. It too much fi me.

Instead, me text and call Chris but him nah chat to me. Me send him couple messages but just as how when him did a text me an me read him messages and ignored dem a di same thing him a do me now and me can't blame him but at di same time me nah stop try. Me know one day him wi reply and me nah stop bother him til him chat to me.

Me turn off me data connection off a me phone, change out a me uniform before me go bath. As soon as me finish me dry off me self, lotion, powder me chest  and change inna me yard clothes. Me nuh know bout nobody but me love powder me chest. Me love di smell a powder. It smell sweet and keep me cool.

"Sista, mommy say Com fi food" Mi little Bredda Alex push me room door open and come in. Me nu know wah wrong with me today but me just feel soft inside.

Me look at me little Bredda who inna him superman red and blue shirt and him matching shorts with one black  car in a him hand.

" Come here " me call him over to me and me lift him up put him in a me lap. Me pull me bag to me and tek out something fi him

" sweetie!" Him shout excited as him tek di green pack bonbon sweetie from me, di same one dat him did tell me him want. Di same one me tek so long fi buy fi him. "Thanks sista" him tell me as him get up from off a me lap and gone. Most likely gone boast to him mother say him sista buy sweetie fi him. Me smile little as me see how happy him be.

Me go inna di kitchen short after an go eat me dinner with me mother and Bredda. Feel like a long time me nu really focus on spending any time with me family cause a how me always busy with me own life. Everything happen fi a reason at least now me can start have me focus in di right places. Like in me family and on school. At least now me wi be less distracted.

Sometimes me Wonder how me life would a be if me did hav a fada inna mi life. Unlike Melia and Al who have dem fada who dem spend time wid when dem ready,me neva hav a fada growing up.

Mi fada left mi mada rite after him find out dat me mada did pregnant wid mi him say mi a jacket and him neva mind mi. Him deny mi even up to dis day even though me Fava him down to me toe nail dem look like fi him as mi mada always say.. But mi nu mek dat bother mi di hottest part is dat him hav other Pickney wid him other woman and me always a compare me self an a say what about those Pickney dat him love so and why him can't just love me.

Me use to jealous a other Pickney who have dem fada who walk dem Com a school a morning time, who carry dem go buy ice cream or who teach dem fi ride bicycle. Mi never have none a dat and mi always wonder what it would feel like fi hav dat. Sometimes me say certain decision me would  a avoid making if only me did hav one fada fi talk to me and tell me how boys stay. Yeah me mada tell me how dem a dog and dem a destruction and dem only want tie up woman pon dem self. But coming from a father figure me guess it could have been a difference.But what di sense in wishing anyhow. It too late now after all.

After spending little time watching TV and listening to me mother and Keisha a talk me find me way go back a me room. Me turn on me data connection on me phone and check me messages them.

More messages and missed calls come in from deh one deh on me whatsapp which mi just ignore and delete. Then me see one message come in from one strange number. Fi a while me hesitate fi answer cause me a wonder if a deh one deh a use other number fi get to me.

Unknown : Hey. How are you?.. Me read di message and a look fi see some dp but no picture nu Com up. A could a who dis now. Me kinda hate di idea fi a reply to strange number text message eno cause a this same thing did happen and cause problem inna me life right now so until me know a who me a ignore this message. If dem want a reply from mi dem identify dem self first yah mon.

Same time me hear Al voice. Him voice did a get louder as him approach so mi know a me room him a com towards. As me suspect little after me door push open an a him dat. From di look pon him face mi can tell dat a bad news him come wid.

" Tanya yuh hear?" Al tap a me door way and push in him head like him just a peep in wid him hand still on me doorknob,from di look on him face me know say a something bad

" hear wah. A wah happen?" Me ask back same time as me siddung up straight in a me bed

" a roshane. Him-"

"stop it rite deh suh! Nu dweet. Don't do mi dis" Mi stop him same time. Me point pon him wid mi finger wid tears inna me eyes. As me hear him name me nu know wah deh go through me mind but me nu wah hear it. A can't nothing good base on how Al sound and me already crushed inside. Mi can't deal with nothing more but at di same time me wah know wah happen to him. Why all a dis crosses a com down pon me one so one after di other. But me nu think a dead him dead rite? Him can't just dead suh nu true? Oh God. And di tears start run harder now.

**

And this right here you guys is the end of another chapter.  Thanks for reading. Remember to vote.

What you think happen to Roshane???..

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